Oh Lord, who would have thought things could get ugly here! I am the original writer from way back. Don't leave the group. I have learned some very empowering things from people here and it has really helped me to not feel so alone. It was comforting to know that I was not the only one with a sick spouse and struggling. No situation is the same. The way life unfolds in different for everyone and how people cope/handle things are different.
I did leave my husband and am in the middle of a horrible divorce. I have peace though because I can come home at the end of the work day and am not be berated continuously. The space has been well deserved and has helped me to slowly start reconnecting with myself. I too have very good friends, family etc. I worry about how my son may view me some day, what is being said to him by my spouse behind my back etc for leaving him when he is sick.
I used to wonder what would happen eventually if I had to find him a home to live in at some point...it used to break my heart to imagine leaving him there every day and night alone. I can't imagine how I would feel if I had done so many years ago and he continued to "exist" because let's face it your husband hasn't been able to live his life for years. You didn't say if your relationship had become unbearable before he needed 24 hr care. If he became ill and quickly declined, you may not have reached the same level in your marriage. Without a doubt you have suffered and have had to deal with very difficult things. You have children and are doing the best you can to teach them how to be honorable, caring and loving people. We all want that and I'm sure everyone is trying to do the same in whatever ways they can. I think that your situation, although may be a bit different, deserves to be recognized as being difficult and that you may help someone who feels like they are in the exact same position. You have wisdom to share here and I'm sure that others can learn from you too. You are obviously a compassionate person.
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Oh Lord, who would have thought things could get ugly here! I am the original writer from way back. Don't leave the group. I have learned some very empowering things from people here and it has really helped me to not feel so alone. It was comforting to know that I was not the only one with a sick spouse and struggling. No situation is the same. The way life unfolds in different for everyone and how people cope/handle things are different.
I did leave my husband and am in the middle of a horrible divorce. I have peace though because I can come home at the end of the work day and am not be berated continuously. The space has been well deserved and has helped me to slowly start reconnecting with myself. I too have very good friends, family etc. I worry about how my son may view me some day, what is being said to him by my spouse behind my back etc for leaving him when he is sick.
I used to wonder what would happen eventually if I had to find him a home to live in at some point...it used to break my heart to imagine leaving him there every day and night alone. I can't imagine how I would feel if I had done so many years ago and he continued to "exist" because let's face it your husband hasn't been able to live his life for years. You didn't say if your relationship had become unbearable before he needed 24 hr care. If he became ill and quickly declined, you may not have reached the same level in your marriage. Without a doubt you have suffered and have had to deal with very difficult things. You have children and are doing the best you can to teach them how to be honorable, caring and loving people. We all want that and I'm sure everyone is trying to do the same in whatever ways they can. I think that your situation, although may be a bit different, deserves to be recognized as being difficult and that you may help someone who feels like they are in the exact same position. You have wisdom to share here and I'm sure that others can learn from you too. You are obviously a compassionate person.
Nicole
July 30, 2010 - 4:31pmThis Comment
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