So very sad at reading these blogs. I too am torn about standing by my spouse who has diabetes for 20 years. Simply because I have fibromyalgia and don't have the energy or health to be his caretaker in the advancing stages of his disease. I don't feel like he is my husband anymore but my patient. His illness conflicts with our business and taking care of myself. I wear a lot of hats: mother, spouse, caretaker, nurse, secretary, go-for girl, monitor, chauffeur, decision maker, power of attorney, cook, gardener, maid, nutritionist, companion, and anything else that comes my way during the course of a business day in the office or in the field. It leaves me depleted, confused and torn. Worst is not having fulfillment of the career of which I had to forfeit in order to make our situation work for 10 years.
It is not fair to my children and extended family for me to abandon my present life situation but at the same time, it is not fair for me to be placed into the bondage of obedience and ritual while my husband flounders with inefficiency, fluctuating health, and mind deterioration. He is in the comfort zone of denial, lets me take the rap for inefficiency, and blames me for any failure or mishap. Because I am always there. I don't know where I am going from here. But I know serious changes have to be made in order to continue in some assembly of peace and harmony.
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So very sad at reading these blogs. I too am torn about standing by my spouse who has diabetes for 20 years. Simply because I have fibromyalgia and don't have the energy or health to be his caretaker in the advancing stages of his disease. I don't feel like he is my husband anymore but my patient. His illness conflicts with our business and taking care of myself. I wear a lot of hats: mother, spouse, caretaker, nurse, secretary, go-for girl, monitor, chauffeur, decision maker, power of attorney, cook, gardener, maid, nutritionist, companion, and anything else that comes my way during the course of a business day in the office or in the field. It leaves me depleted, confused and torn. Worst is not having fulfillment of the career of which I had to forfeit in order to make our situation work for 10 years.
February 18, 2011 - 4:38pmIt is not fair to my children and extended family for me to abandon my present life situation but at the same time, it is not fair for me to be placed into the bondage of obedience and ritual while my husband flounders with inefficiency, fluctuating health, and mind deterioration. He is in the comfort zone of denial, lets me take the rap for inefficiency, and blames me for any failure or mishap. Because I am always there. I don't know where I am going from here. But I know serious changes have to be made in order to continue in some assembly of peace and harmony.
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