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I am the original writer that started this thread. I left my spouse in February last year. Although I experienced guilt after leaving him because I knew that financially he would have difficulties and that he wouldn't have anyone to care for him, I was able to find peace. I'm not saying that the same will happen for you, but I can say that after over a year of being apart and now that my divorce has been finalized, things have fallen together. I am paying alimony for the next 4 years to a tune of $800 per month. It doesn't even bother me. My son and I have started over, he is adjusting well and I have had wonderful support from family and friends. I've started a new job, have continued on in school and have started dating. I no longer dread going home knowing that I will be verbally and emotionally abused. I am finding myself and actually finding out that there is so much more to my life than I had realized. I am happy and at peace. I hope that whatever decisions that you make that you are able to let go of the guilt and anxiety that comes with it and embrace your future. Good luck to you! It is not an easy road to travel, but it was so well worth it.