I posted a few days ago--separated from my sick husband who was also addicted to pain medication. I've read the last couple of posters and feel for both of you! You used many of the same words--"depleted", "depressed" , "no joy" , etc. that I have used and feel. But you said reading others posts made you think if THEY can endure, you can too. I thought I could too, but after 8 years, and especially after his behavior became abusive, I finally broke. I would have rather died than live in that situation anymore--and I didn't see leaving an ill husband as even an option--so I literally almost died.
Now I'm separated--have asked him for a divorce (he says no) and I feel horribly guilty. But I am also alive--and looking forward to having a life again! It was encouraging to see the original poster is faring well after her hard decision last year. Only you know if you can endure--but prepare yourself to find another way if it means saving your own life...
And to Redwood Girl, I hope your in-laws stay sweet. I thought I had a great relationship with mine as well. They knew about their sons addiction, and his mother asked me several times if I wanted to leave him--she didn't blame me.
I moved out--sent his parents and his brothers and their wives a letter--detailing the reasons I had to get away-- (physical and verbal abuse) and asking them to help-- I said I had run out of solutions-- he hasn't listened to his doctors or to me--and I didn't know how else to help him. I thought maybe his parents would come check on him (they live in another state) or a brother or two might check on him or invite him to come stay with them a week.
NOT ONE of them called me or responded in any way. It's been 9 weeks now. No one has come to his aid. After nearly 23 years in that family, no one has asked me if I'm ok. My husband says his mom talks bad about me all the time for moving out....
It makes me sad for both of us.
I hope your relationships have happier endings!
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I posted a few days ago--separated from my sick husband who was also addicted to pain medication. I've read the last couple of posters and feel for both of you! You used many of the same words--"depleted", "depressed" , "no joy" , etc. that I have used and feel. But you said reading others posts made you think if THEY can endure, you can too. I thought I could too, but after 8 years, and especially after his behavior became abusive, I finally broke. I would have rather died than live in that situation anymore--and I didn't see leaving an ill husband as even an option--so I literally almost died.
March 15, 2011 - 10:35amNow I'm separated--have asked him for a divorce (he says no) and I feel horribly guilty. But I am also alive--and looking forward to having a life again! It was encouraging to see the original poster is faring well after her hard decision last year. Only you know if you can endure--but prepare yourself to find another way if it means saving your own life...
And to Redwood Girl, I hope your in-laws stay sweet. I thought I had a great relationship with mine as well. They knew about their sons addiction, and his mother asked me several times if I wanted to leave him--she didn't blame me.
I moved out--sent his parents and his brothers and their wives a letter--detailing the reasons I had to get away-- (physical and verbal abuse) and asking them to help-- I said I had run out of solutions-- he hasn't listened to his doctors or to me--and I didn't know how else to help him. I thought maybe his parents would come check on him (they live in another state) or a brother or two might check on him or invite him to come stay with them a week.
NOT ONE of them called me or responded in any way. It's been 9 weeks now. No one has come to his aid. After nearly 23 years in that family, no one has asked me if I'm ok. My husband says his mom talks bad about me all the time for moving out....
It makes me sad for both of us.
I hope your relationships have happier endings!
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