That is interesting, because I've also fallen into the trap of putting things on my calendar for myself, then if anything comes up with/for my husband, then I'm quick to re-arrange my calendar in order to do something with him.
The funny thing is, I blamed him for "making me" do this, and we had an interesting "discussion" about it. I had created such a story in my head that he was doing this on purpose (planning things for "us", when he "knew" I had something else going on); I had created this image of a selfish man...and realized, I was putting him in a lose-lose situation because I also wanted him to plan date nights. And, while there are men (and women) who manipulate relationships in the manner I described above, I guess an easy way to find the truth is to have a conversation with your significant other. When I spoke to my hubby about this, there was some arguing and defensiveness about it, but when I opened up and told him what I was struggling with, it was such a simple solution. We agreed to Thursdays as being official "date night", and we have a family calendar that we write in our appointments: whether they be doctor, massage, exercise class or just "me time". We both win!
The old saying "a body at rest stays at rest" is so true, and I've realized that once I write in a physical activity onto the calendar, I really do stick with it...because it is everyday! It may only be 15 minutes for a walk, or 30-minutes of vacuuming, or an actual 60-minute aerobic class....but this has helped me put MYSELF back on my priority list, and my family can SEE my plan for the day. No excuses!
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That is interesting, because I've also fallen into the trap of putting things on my calendar for myself, then if anything comes up with/for my husband, then I'm quick to re-arrange my calendar in order to do something with him.
The funny thing is, I blamed him for "making me" do this, and we had an interesting "discussion" about it. I had created such a story in my head that he was doing this on purpose (planning things for "us", when he "knew" I had something else going on); I had created this image of a selfish man...and realized, I was putting him in a lose-lose situation because I also wanted him to plan date nights. And, while there are men (and women) who manipulate relationships in the manner I described above, I guess an easy way to find the truth is to have a conversation with your significant other. When I spoke to my hubby about this, there was some arguing and defensiveness about it, but when I opened up and told him what I was struggling with, it was such a simple solution. We agreed to Thursdays as being official "date night", and we have a family calendar that we write in our appointments: whether they be doctor, massage, exercise class or just "me time". We both win!
The old saying "a body at rest stays at rest" is so true, and I've realized that once I write in a physical activity onto the calendar, I really do stick with it...because it is everyday! It may only be 15 minutes for a walk, or 30-minutes of vacuuming, or an actual 60-minute aerobic class....but this has helped me put MYSELF back on my priority list, and my family can SEE my plan for the day. No excuses!
January 13, 2009 - 3:20pmThis Comment
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