It's one thing to be a woman bearing a child in her 40's, and another to be the 60-year-old father. For him, it's a virility issue; for her, it's probably something quite similar. Where are the statistics showing that older parents are less inclined to feel they are "missing out" on a social life by having young kids, and are generally a bit more mellow?" I think it's more a feeling of proving to self and the world that you can still bear a child, even at whatever risk to yours or the child's health.
There are plenty of second-time-around-dads raising kids young enough to be their grandchildren. Like my dad, and he's not exactly "mellow" with his second family. His wife is younger than I am!
Let's not make generalizations about what it's like to be older parents. Did you have one? I've seen how having a 60-something father negatively impacted his teenage son, and how having that young child negatively impacted the elderly parent. At an age when you expect to be enjoying your golden years, do you want to feel strapped to children - again?
Age may be a state of mind, but it's also a physical and chronological reality. Personally, I wouldn't want to be raising a little one at my age - a hair shy of 60 - and neither does my DH. Sure, we might be better off financially now than when we were younger; but, we were actually better prepared to have our children when we were younger, if that makes any sense to you.
I think of the child, first, and what it would be like for him/her to have an "old" parent. I'm lucky enough to have the energy to keep up with kids, and the ability to admit that I also like having my DH to myself in our second half century. There is no way I'd want to be dealing with a teenager at age 80!
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It's one thing to be a woman bearing a child in her 40's, and another to be the 60-year-old father. For him, it's a virility issue; for her, it's probably something quite similar. Where are the statistics showing that older parents are less inclined to feel they are "missing out" on a social life by having young kids, and are generally a bit more mellow?" I think it's more a feeling of proving to self and the world that you can still bear a child, even at whatever risk to yours or the child's health.
There are plenty of second-time-around-dads raising kids young enough to be their grandchildren. Like my dad, and he's not exactly "mellow" with his second family. His wife is younger than I am!
Let's not make generalizations about what it's like to be older parents. Did you have one? I've seen how having a 60-something father negatively impacted his teenage son, and how having that young child negatively impacted the elderly parent. At an age when you expect to be enjoying your golden years, do you want to feel strapped to children - again?
Age may be a state of mind, but it's also a physical and chronological reality. Personally, I wouldn't want to be raising a little one at my age - a hair shy of 60 - and neither does my DH. Sure, we might be better off financially now than when we were younger; but, we were actually better prepared to have our children when we were younger, if that makes any sense to you.
I think of the child, first, and what it would be like for him/her to have an "old" parent. I'm lucky enough to have the energy to keep up with kids, and the ability to admit that I also like having my DH to myself in our second half century. There is no way I'd want to be dealing with a teenager at age 80!
January 26, 2009 - 9:10pmThis Comment
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