Pat ElliottExpertHERWriterGuideBlogger(reply to Anonymous)
Hi chelle100 - Thanks for writing back. From what you're saying it sounds like the situation is continuing to drag out, is getting worse, and now you're being dragged into it too. It may be worthwhile to take a new approach to this.
As far as work, I'm in the US and I'm guessing you're in another country. I don't know the laws where you are, but here a supervisor has to be extremely careful with an employee in dealing with an illness, and must focus on the work impact of an employee's behavior, not an employee illness or "fake" illness. If you and your colleagues can find a way to document and provide objective data on the work impact that the person is having and provide that to your team leader it would likely be more helpful and more actionable. For example, Employee X is expected to do Tasks A, B, and C and did not do those tasks and they fell on Employees Y and Z and the business impact was __________ is going to be more helpful to your supervisor. It also takes the discussion away from being of a personal nature, pinpoints the problem, puts the responsibility for dealing with the problem on the supervisor and documents that the employees made the company aware of the situation. Does that make sense?
In terms of your living arrangements, that too might be easier on you if you can make it less personal, take a step back, and focus on what you want in your life and how to get it. The reality is we can only be responsible for our own behavior, and what you're describing right now is your reaction to her behaviors and wanting her to change. She may or may not change. All you have control over is how you personally behave. Is there a way you can distance yourself from her behavior so that it no longer affects you? Let me know what you think, and good luck! Pat
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Hi chelle100 - Thanks for writing back. From what you're saying it sounds like the situation is continuing to drag out, is getting worse, and now you're being dragged into it too. It may be worthwhile to take a new approach to this.
As far as work, I'm in the US and I'm guessing you're in another country. I don't know the laws where you are, but here a supervisor has to be extremely careful with an employee in dealing with an illness, and must focus on the work impact of an employee's behavior, not an employee illness or "fake" illness. If you and your colleagues can find a way to document and provide objective data on the work impact that the person is having and provide that to your team leader it would likely be more helpful and more actionable. For example, Employee X is expected to do Tasks A, B, and C and did not do those tasks and they fell on Employees Y and Z and the business impact was __________ is going to be more helpful to your supervisor. It also takes the discussion away from being of a personal nature, pinpoints the problem, puts the responsibility for dealing with the problem on the supervisor and documents that the employees made the company aware of the situation. Does that make sense?
In terms of your living arrangements, that too might be easier on you if you can make it less personal, take a step back, and focus on what you want in your life and how to get it. The reality is we can only be responsible for our own behavior, and what you're describing right now is your reaction to her behaviors and wanting her to change. She may or may not change. All you have control over is how you personally behave. Is there a way you can distance yourself from her behavior so that it no longer affects you? Let me know what you think, and good luck! Pat
March 15, 2010 - 9:22amThis Comment
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