Welcome to EmpowHer. I'm so glad you found us and that you wrote.
I know you love your girlfriend and I'm sure she loves you. But there's a real lack of responsibility going on here on her part. To go off birth control and not tell you about it is immature at best and manipulative at worst. And if she's pregnant, it's not like she doesn't know what causes it -- she's already had an unfortunate experience in this area.
Were the two of you already dating when she got pregnant by the other man? I ask only because people who have multiple sexual partners expose themselves and their other partners to sexually transmitted diseases, which means you are vulnerable whenever you don't use a condom.
The only way your girlfriend would have gotten pregnant with you on spring break last week was if she was ovulating around that time, and if she was ovulating around that time, yes, it is too soon for her to be experiencing pregnancy symptoms. Most women, even if they have been pregnant before, don't have those kinds of early signs until right around the time that they have missed their period.
If she is pregnant, of course it is her decision about whether to have the baby and keep it, have the baby and give it up for adoption, or have an abortion. I'm not sure I understand what you mean when you say "She says it's unfair to pick and choose when to have one since she already had an abortion." Does that mean she wants to keep the baby if she is pregnant again?
Please know that no matter what happens here, the fact that she is very smart and has a lot of potential is the same. She can succeed without a baby or she can succeed with one. It's just different, and harder. But many women have done so.
How do you feel about all this, Anon? You don't really write about your feelings, even though your girlfriend didn't tell you that she went off birth control and might have made you a father without your knowing about it or giving your consent.
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Hi, Anon,
Welcome to EmpowHer. I'm so glad you found us and that you wrote.
I know you love your girlfriend and I'm sure she loves you. But there's a real lack of responsibility going on here on her part. To go off birth control and not tell you about it is immature at best and manipulative at worst. And if she's pregnant, it's not like she doesn't know what causes it -- she's already had an unfortunate experience in this area.
Were the two of you already dating when she got pregnant by the other man? I ask only because people who have multiple sexual partners expose themselves and their other partners to sexually transmitted diseases, which means you are vulnerable whenever you don't use a condom.
The only way your girlfriend would have gotten pregnant with you on spring break last week was if she was ovulating around that time, and if she was ovulating around that time, yes, it is too soon for her to be experiencing pregnancy symptoms. Most women, even if they have been pregnant before, don't have those kinds of early signs until right around the time that they have missed their period.
If she is pregnant, of course it is her decision about whether to have the baby and keep it, have the baby and give it up for adoption, or have an abortion. I'm not sure I understand what you mean when you say "She says it's unfair to pick and choose when to have one since she already had an abortion." Does that mean she wants to keep the baby if she is pregnant again?
Please know that no matter what happens here, the fact that she is very smart and has a lot of potential is the same. She can succeed without a baby or she can succeed with one. It's just different, and harder. But many women have done so.
How do you feel about all this, Anon? You don't really write about your feelings, even though your girlfriend didn't tell you that she went off birth control and might have made you a father without your knowing about it or giving your consent.
April 5, 2010 - 10:30amThis Comment
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