Placing the responsibility for one partner's porn addiction on the shoulders (or other body parts) of the other partner is, in effect, blaming them for their partner's addiction. We don't tend to think that a person's drug addiction, tobacco addiction or alcohol addiction could be changed if their partner were more inviting or supportive. Yet we do tend to believe that a porn addiction could be "fixed" if the partner were simply skinnier, sexier or more available.
He is not a dog. He doesn't need "a treat" for not looking at porn. He is a grown man who is doing something that hurts his partner's feelings and that interferes with the health of his relationship.
And if something like an addiction could be fixed by simply "Telling him to stop it!", life would be a lot easier. Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way. Addictions are not simply willful behaviors; often they progress to the point that outside help is needed.
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Anon,
Placing the responsibility for one partner's porn addiction on the shoulders (or other body parts) of the other partner is, in effect, blaming them for their partner's addiction. We don't tend to think that a person's drug addiction, tobacco addiction or alcohol addiction could be changed if their partner were more inviting or supportive. Yet we do tend to believe that a porn addiction could be "fixed" if the partner were simply skinnier, sexier or more available.
He is not a dog. He doesn't need "a treat" for not looking at porn. He is a grown man who is doing something that hurts his partner's feelings and that interferes with the health of his relationship.
And if something like an addiction could be fixed by simply "Telling him to stop it!", life would be a lot easier. Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way. Addictions are not simply willful behaviors; often they progress to the point that outside help is needed.
November 17, 2009 - 8:28amThis Comment
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