You are so normal! You have a 6+ month old baby, right? There is absolutely nothing wrong with you, your husband or your marriage. Having a newborn, infant...even a toddler can wipe out all desire to have sex. Is your baby sleeping in the same room with you, or is your daughter in her own crib in another room? Is she sleeping through the night, every night? Are you breastfeeding? Have you gone back to work, or are you taking care of her full-time? Do you feel that your husband helps out with the baby and around the house equally?
You mentioned that you are still sexually attracted to your husband, and that your idea of great sex now means cuddling in bed and falling asleep together. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this, and from your post, it sounds like you are worried about "what this means to your sex life"...is your husband equally concerned or frustrated? If not, then enjoy this time being intimate with your husband in other ways. If so, let me know and I can find some information for you. I'll send you some good resources in a little while.
It may be as simple as "reframing" your idea of "great sex life" into a more mature way of thinking about your situation: you are a new mom; your husband a new dad. You have a baby less than one year old, who is going through exciting changes practically every day, but who is also demanding every day. These are the times when you are creating some the most special and intimate memories with your husband and your daughter...you are likely emotionally drained (in a good way), and unable to "give" anymore of yourself emotionally (and physically, especially if you are breastfeeding or up all night with your daughter). Bottom line: "great sex life" does not have to mean "intercourse", and can be everything that includes "increasing intimacy" within your marriage.
Congrats on your baby! Do you have a good support network of family, friends, and "new mom" friends?
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Hi!
You are so normal! You have a 6+ month old baby, right? There is absolutely nothing wrong with you, your husband or your marriage. Having a newborn, infant...even a toddler can wipe out all desire to have sex. Is your baby sleeping in the same room with you, or is your daughter in her own crib in another room? Is she sleeping through the night, every night? Are you breastfeeding? Have you gone back to work, or are you taking care of her full-time? Do you feel that your husband helps out with the baby and around the house equally?
You mentioned that you are still sexually attracted to your husband, and that your idea of great sex now means cuddling in bed and falling asleep together. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this, and from your post, it sounds like you are worried about "what this means to your sex life"...is your husband equally concerned or frustrated? If not, then enjoy this time being intimate with your husband in other ways. If so, let me know and I can find some information for you. I'll send you some good resources in a little while.
It may be as simple as "reframing" your idea of "great sex life" into a more mature way of thinking about your situation: you are a new mom; your husband a new dad. You have a baby less than one year old, who is going through exciting changes practically every day, but who is also demanding every day. These are the times when you are creating some the most special and intimate memories with your husband and your daughter...you are likely emotionally drained (in a good way), and unable to "give" anymore of yourself emotionally (and physically, especially if you are breastfeeding or up all night with your daughter). Bottom line: "great sex life" does not have to mean "intercourse", and can be everything that includes "increasing intimacy" within your marriage.
Congrats on your baby! Do you have a good support network of family, friends, and "new mom" friends?
March 29, 2009 - 9:45amThis Comment
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