First I just want to say - good luck with whatever you decide to do! Next I want to ask you - why is it so important what other people think? Reason I say this is because you are going to get varied answers to this question depending on where people are in their lives. I can tell you I know of many 45 year olds who act like they are 65 and they are too tired to do much of anything, much less raise a baby. Especially if they have grown children of their own. The thought of starting all over can be daunting for some folks. On the other hand, there are friends of mine that do have little ones and it has given them much joy and happiness and in their words is "keeping them young". It's all in the attitude and more importantly- individual circumstances that make people think and feel the way they do.
Now that being said, if you want to know my personal situation, I am 44 with an almost 3 year old daughter. She is our first child together -DH has two college kids that adore their lil sis - and we are having the time of our lives with her, and couldn't be more thrilled. I am pretty new to this area where we live but have a lot of friends from the "new moms group" at the hospital where DD was born and we have playdates, trips, etc together. DH makes good money, so sending kids to college / having a baby / fertility treatments etc, fortunately not a concern for us. As far as family, my parents are still pretty young - mom is 66 and dad is 67 and they are both very active and in DD's life to a large degree. My husband and I are both very healthy, (I run about 30 miles a week) and we try to eat pretty healthy as well. I have an enormous amount of energy and I am fortunate enough to be able to work from home at a job I love - so I can see and spend time with my daughter throughout the day. (we do have a nanny who comes from 9-4 three days a week and Saturday nights when we are home so DH and I can go on date night!) Not that these things are the be all and end all for having a child, but for me , all these things help in a big way.
I would love to give her a little brother or sister, and we do have one embryo left over from a prior IVF, but would also consider donor eggs at this point because - a. I don't think I would be able to get pregnant with my own eggs again and b. I am concerned about the possibility of birth defects even if I could get pregnant. I am also open to adoption. So I guess what I'm saying is, what's right for you might not be what's right for others, so in the end it only matters how you and your family feel. For me, having my little girl is the best thing I have done in my life and I am grateful to have been able to have her at 41. I would not have been as good a mom in my twenties (though I'm sure it would have taken me a lot less time to get pregnant) as now I have much more patience and appreciate everything so much more. good luck to you and your family and god bless.
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First I just want to say - good luck with whatever you decide to do! Next I want to ask you - why is it so important what other people think? Reason I say this is because you are going to get varied answers to this question depending on where people are in their lives. I can tell you I know of many 45 year olds who act like they are 65 and they are too tired to do much of anything, much less raise a baby. Especially if they have grown children of their own. The thought of starting all over can be daunting for some folks. On the other hand, there are friends of mine that do have little ones and it has given them much joy and happiness and in their words is "keeping them young". It's all in the attitude and more importantly- individual circumstances that make people think and feel the way they do.
Now that being said, if you want to know my personal situation, I am 44 with an almost 3 year old daughter. She is our first child together -DH has two college kids that adore their lil sis - and we are having the time of our lives with her, and couldn't be more thrilled. I am pretty new to this area where we live but have a lot of friends from the "new moms group" at the hospital where DD was born and we have playdates, trips, etc together. DH makes good money, so sending kids to college / having a baby / fertility treatments etc, fortunately not a concern for us. As far as family, my parents are still pretty young - mom is 66 and dad is 67 and they are both very active and in DD's life to a large degree. My husband and I are both very healthy, (I run about 30 miles a week) and we try to eat pretty healthy as well. I have an enormous amount of energy and I am fortunate enough to be able to work from home at a job I love - so I can see and spend time with my daughter throughout the day. (we do have a nanny who comes from 9-4 three days a week and Saturday nights when we are home so DH and I can go on date night!) Not that these things are the be all and end all for having a child, but for me , all these things help in a big way.
I would love to give her a little brother or sister, and we do have one embryo left over from a prior IVF, but would also consider donor eggs at this point because - a. I don't think I would be able to get pregnant with my own eggs again and b. I am concerned about the possibility of birth defects even if I could get pregnant. I am also open to adoption. So I guess what I'm saying is, what's right for you might not be what's right for others, so in the end it only matters how you and your family feel. For me, having my little girl is the best thing I have done in my life and I am grateful to have been able to have her at 41. I would not have been as good a mom in my twenties (though I'm sure it would have taken me a lot less time to get pregnant) as now I have much more patience and appreciate everything so much more. good luck to you and your family and god bless.
November 22, 2011 - 9:59amThis Comment
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