I'm writing this knowing that it is quite some time since the original question was asked, but wanted to share my experience with anyone newly reading this and considering getting pregnant at 45 or so years old. I am now 44 and have two wonderful children, 6 and 7 years old respectively. My husband and I had a hard time getting pregnant to begin with, had two failed IVF treatments and numerous inseminations. After finding a new doctor who simply gave me a medication called metformin, I was pregnant within weeks. Two months after delivering my first I went back on the medication and was immediately pregnant with our second. Since we thought I could never get pregnant without the metformin we never used any form of birth control after the second, also with the thought that if we ever were blessed with another pregnancy it would be a welcome gift.
Well, after six years of regular marital relations and no thought of birth control, just two months ago we found out I was pregnant. I am now 44 years old and would be one month shy of my 45th birthday as the due date. I was shocked at my complete panic when I saw the test result was positive due to the reality of how old I will be at the start of this baby's life. I called my doctor and begged them to let me come in immediately to figure out that this test was wrong.
Long story short, the test was not wrong. I told my husband when he got home from work and cried my eyes out. I knew I couldn't take the chance of the much higher risk of problems with the baby ranging from Downs Syndrome to autism to a myriad of psychological problems that do plague babies born to older parents versus younger parents.
Completely contrary to what we had always thought would be a wonderful thing if it happened to come about, my husband and I decided to err on the side of caution and end the pregnancy for our fears of not only the baby's health, but our own health. We would be in our 60's and 70's respectively when this child turned 20. That's just not fair. As it is, in our opinions, we are pushing the envelope with out age versus health with regard to the children we do have, not to mention the fact of having to put off retirement to raise another child, send him/her to college, etc.
I beg you to seriously think about what it would be to have a baby at such a late stage in life when you should be finally thinking about retirement and slowing down and enjoying your free time as you get older, not starting over with an infant.
We never in a million years would have thought that we would have terminated a pregnancy. I am still in shock over everything that has happened in the last couple of months. The feeling of loss for the baby that was concieved in love that will never be. The guilt and regret, yet still knowing it was the right decision for all involved. It's a terrible thing and had I not gotten pregnant I guarantee you I would still be saying, "oh, don't worry, if are fortunate enought to get prenant it will be a welcome addition to our family." I said that many times and can't even begin to understand what I was thinking knowing what I now know. The reality is very different from the possibility of what might be.
As a result we are now using two forms of birth control (condoms and the pill) and I am scheduled to have a tubal ligation with the Essure method to make sure that this will NEVER happen again.
If after giving this a serious amount of thought you still decide that you would be okay with having a baby at 45, I do hope that you don't have the reality hit you and you have to make one of the hardest decisions of your life that you will have to live with forever.
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I'm writing this knowing that it is quite some time since the original question was asked, but wanted to share my experience with anyone newly reading this and considering getting pregnant at 45 or so years old. I am now 44 and have two wonderful children, 6 and 7 years old respectively. My husband and I had a hard time getting pregnant to begin with, had two failed IVF treatments and numerous inseminations. After finding a new doctor who simply gave me a medication called metformin, I was pregnant within weeks. Two months after delivering my first I went back on the medication and was immediately pregnant with our second. Since we thought I could never get pregnant without the metformin we never used any form of birth control after the second, also with the thought that if we ever were blessed with another pregnancy it would be a welcome gift.
Well, after six years of regular marital relations and no thought of birth control, just two months ago we found out I was pregnant. I am now 44 years old and would be one month shy of my 45th birthday as the due date. I was shocked at my complete panic when I saw the test result was positive due to the reality of how old I will be at the start of this baby's life. I called my doctor and begged them to let me come in immediately to figure out that this test was wrong.
Long story short, the test was not wrong. I told my husband when he got home from work and cried my eyes out. I knew I couldn't take the chance of the much higher risk of problems with the baby ranging from Downs Syndrome to autism to a myriad of psychological problems that do plague babies born to older parents versus younger parents.
Completely contrary to what we had always thought would be a wonderful thing if it happened to come about, my husband and I decided to err on the side of caution and end the pregnancy for our fears of not only the baby's health, but our own health. We would be in our 60's and 70's respectively when this child turned 20. That's just not fair. As it is, in our opinions, we are pushing the envelope with out age versus health with regard to the children we do have, not to mention the fact of having to put off retirement to raise another child, send him/her to college, etc.
I beg you to seriously think about what it would be to have a baby at such a late stage in life when you should be finally thinking about retirement and slowing down and enjoying your free time as you get older, not starting over with an infant.
We never in a million years would have thought that we would have terminated a pregnancy. I am still in shock over everything that has happened in the last couple of months. The feeling of loss for the baby that was concieved in love that will never be. The guilt and regret, yet still knowing it was the right decision for all involved. It's a terrible thing and had I not gotten pregnant I guarantee you I would still be saying, "oh, don't worry, if are fortunate enought to get prenant it will be a welcome addition to our family." I said that many times and can't even begin to understand what I was thinking knowing what I now know. The reality is very different from the possibility of what might be.
As a result we are now using two forms of birth control (condoms and the pill) and I am scheduled to have a tubal ligation with the Essure method to make sure that this will NEVER happen again.
If after giving this a serious amount of thought you still decide that you would be okay with having a baby at 45, I do hope that you don't have the reality hit you and you have to make one of the hardest decisions of your life that you will have to live with forever.
Good luck with whatever you decide.
March 8, 2012 - 8:11pmThis Comment
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