Thank you so much for your encouraging response. Yes, he did tell me why he broke things off the first time. When we started dating, he had just broken up with an ex and he still had some lingering feelings for her. He didn't feel that it would be fair to me (or himself) to continue building a relationship with me if he still had feelings for someone else...so he ended things with me to try and work through it on his own.
When he showed up at the restaurant, our meeting was completely unintentional (i would say coincidence, but I don't fully believe in coincidences). He had no idea how close it was to my apt (he'd never been to my place before) and of course had no idea that I would be there for brunch. At that time, we hadn't spoken in over a year, so we really knew nothing of what the other was doing.
We talked about why he'd contacted me so many months after running into each other at the restaurant...he said the love he had for me never went away, and I was constantly in his thoughts, as he was in mine.
I know the easy answer is that I gained weight, or that there's someone else, but I believe in my heart of hearts that the answer is not that simple at all. There's something more and something deeper.
We're both in our early 30s.
You're so on point about the long distance thing... we don't argue at all, but we've had disagreements, and like you said it carries so much extra emotion because someone will be leaving soon. We spent so much of our time the last 2 years being happy just to be in the others' presence that a lot of times, we didn't have those important talks. I've only been back in this area for a month now, so I wasn't expect a miracle and things to change immediately. I was just looking to open the dialogue now that we have the opportunity to see each other more often and have more quality time together. I was in no way expecting this result when I started the discussion with him (even though I was somewhat prepared for it.)
Like i said, I know he loves me, and I know he's scared. So I'm in a place now of not wanting to give up hope and get comfortable with the idea that we won't be together, and not wanting to have too much hope that things will work out. I'm stuck somewhere in the middle and it's a difficult place to reside.
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Hi Diane,
Thank you so much for your encouraging response. Yes, he did tell me why he broke things off the first time. When we started dating, he had just broken up with an ex and he still had some lingering feelings for her. He didn't feel that it would be fair to me (or himself) to continue building a relationship with me if he still had feelings for someone else...so he ended things with me to try and work through it on his own.
When he showed up at the restaurant, our meeting was completely unintentional (i would say coincidence, but I don't fully believe in coincidences). He had no idea how close it was to my apt (he'd never been to my place before) and of course had no idea that I would be there for brunch. At that time, we hadn't spoken in over a year, so we really knew nothing of what the other was doing.
We talked about why he'd contacted me so many months after running into each other at the restaurant...he said the love he had for me never went away, and I was constantly in his thoughts, as he was in mine.
I know the easy answer is that I gained weight, or that there's someone else, but I believe in my heart of hearts that the answer is not that simple at all. There's something more and something deeper.
We're both in our early 30s.
You're so on point about the long distance thing... we don't argue at all, but we've had disagreements, and like you said it carries so much extra emotion because someone will be leaving soon. We spent so much of our time the last 2 years being happy just to be in the others' presence that a lot of times, we didn't have those important talks. I've only been back in this area for a month now, so I wasn't expect a miracle and things to change immediately. I was just looking to open the dialogue now that we have the opportunity to see each other more often and have more quality time together. I was in no way expecting this result when I started the discussion with him (even though I was somewhat prepared for it.)
Like i said, I know he loves me, and I know he's scared. So I'm in a place now of not wanting to give up hope and get comfortable with the idea that we won't be together, and not wanting to have too much hope that things will work out. I'm stuck somewhere in the middle and it's a difficult place to reside.
May 11, 2009 - 10:43amThis Comment
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