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That is true Melanie, they may be just as unsure and uncomfortable about the situation as you are frightened. I tried to reach out to the friends of mine who weren't there for me, and even with my reaching, only one came around. I ended up cutting ties with one friend I had been friends with for years because of her lack of support. Not to mention it was upsetting to me that I was getting all these emails about other friends of hers that she wanted me to pray for that were dealing with medical problems, but yet she would never ask how I was, send out notes to others about my situation and ask them to pray for me. It was if I hadn't gone through anything. When I confronted on it over a year later, she had no explaination or reason for not being in touch or asking me how I was or any of her behaviors. We haven't spoken since and that was a few years ago. I just couldn't imagine not being there for a good friend of mine who was going through something as traumatic as brain surgery. But everyone is different and I try to remember that. Maybe some of it is fear. The most we can do is behave how "we" would want to be treated, with our friends and family. The old saying, "Do unto others."