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Deb, I want to encourage you to not feel that you must keep so much information to yourself. Your son would want to know what's going on. At 31, he's a grown man, and can be a strength to you -- instead of someone you feel you have to partially still carry.

I know that if you were my mother, I would want to share your experience, and I might be hurt if you chose not to tell me. I might think that you thought I couldn't handle it, or that I wasn't adult enough -- and most of all, I would be sad that you didn't think I would be a strength and support person for you. So think about it. When we tell a secret, somehow it loses its power.

I think your baby steps are huge and important. Yes, your son will be scared. But he will move through that step and be there with you and for you. Being able to be there for a parent is a crucial thing for a child. Don't take that away from him just because it seems worrisome now.

You are doing great. Hang in there, and keep us updated. We're here for you.