I just wanted anyone who reads this to hopefully help them through my experiences...tonight I confrunted him again and once again were given tons of reasons we can't have sex-all which are so absurd especially since it's been over 3 months. We dont cuddle, kiss, or even sleep in the same bed on his days off at this point. I finally asked what sex ment to him and if he understood what it ment to me. He did understand that to me it was an emotional connection and something more than just the act. I wanted to know how someone who could "love" another person could do something they knew hurt the other person and damage their relationship so much as well as just disconnect from this family all together. Finally, I told him to leave and not return for a few days so tempers would cool and there was a plan if he wants back which includes treatment for depression and some counsling. I was surprize that men feel so unsure of themselves if they have no practice in the bedroom...he said I soon as found out he was a virgin that his self image dropped and his guilt for lieing was so great that he feels like he's just ging to disappoint me again and cant perform. (3 mo ago we had sex for 10 mins. and he was devistated/angry/apoligetic) So if there are any other guys who this happens to that would be nice to hear. I've tried to say it was no big deal but guy world seems a lot different and what i see as an obstical is a deal breaker to him. Wish us luck (We started sleeping in different beds not only due to work schedules but he has ptsd from iraq with bad dreams) I know he didn't want to leave but I told him if he wants to stay together he needed to leave, some time off to refresh and not have me be like his mother-I have no time to raise another persons child thats an adult when we have children of our own. I'll update if this path works...I risk him coming home with divorce papers or not at all but I figure if it's love then he will seriously want to work on it and come home. -keeping my fingers crossed for the best
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I just wanted anyone who reads this to hopefully help them through my experiences...tonight I confrunted him again and once again were given tons of reasons we can't have sex-all which are so absurd especially since it's been over 3 months. We dont cuddle, kiss, or even sleep in the same bed on his days off at this point. I finally asked what sex ment to him and if he understood what it ment to me. He did understand that to me it was an emotional connection and something more than just the act. I wanted to know how someone who could "love" another person could do something they knew hurt the other person and damage their relationship so much as well as just disconnect from this family all together. Finally, I told him to leave and not return for a few days so tempers would cool and there was a plan if he wants back which includes treatment for depression and some counsling. I was surprize that men feel so unsure of themselves if they have no practice in the bedroom...he said I soon as found out he was a virgin that his self image dropped and his guilt for lieing was so great that he feels like he's just ging to disappoint me again and cant perform. (3 mo ago we had sex for 10 mins. and he was devistated/angry/apoligetic) So if there are any other guys who this happens to that would be nice to hear. I've tried to say it was no big deal but guy world seems a lot different and what i see as an obstical is a deal breaker to him. Wish us luck (We started sleeping in different beds not only due to work schedules but he has ptsd from iraq with bad dreams) I know he didn't want to leave but I told him if he wants to stay together he needed to leave, some time off to refresh and not have me be like his mother-I have no time to raise another persons child thats an adult when we have children of our own. I'll update if this path works...I risk him coming home with divorce papers or not at all but I figure if it's love then he will seriously want to work on it and come home. -keeping my fingers crossed for the best
January 17, 2011 - 1:01amThis Comment
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