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Hi Jenny,
I am so sorry you are going through this...for so many years. If you are finding it hard to stay clean and straight, and feel like you are spiraling downward, it is time to seek counseling right away.

I hope you were able to find some words of wisdom in what the other women wrote: they were distraught, mad, felt like "less than" a woman, and they have all shared that they have come out of this diagnosis as stronger and more confident that they ARE different. They are embracing their differences, and although it is still difficult, they have all found ways to cope (through friends, family, loved ones, counseling). If your coping mechanisms are drugs or alcohol, please talk with a trusted friend and seek counseling, as there are other healthy ways to learn to cope. You are dealing with much more than a diagnosis: you are dealing with anger and hurt in regards to your family, and you can absolutely feel happiness again....you just have to know that you are worth it and you deserve it.

Please let us know if you need help finding a counselor in your area, and I hope you continue talking with the women on this discussion thread.