Look, there are a lot of 'theories' out there about what cause eating disorders. Its very confusing to parents. Is it a choice? Or an illness that is 'not a choice'? How you view what causes an eating disorder will determine how you treat it.
Human beings are complex, no question. Dr. Walter Kaye's research has shown that people who develop eating disorders typically suffer from childhood anxiety pre-eating disorder. Does this mean their 'boundaries were invaded' in a relentless and sustained way? No, not necessarily. Cynthia Bulik has described sufferers as having certain personality traits .
"...A childhood tendency that Bulik calls neuroticism may be an indicator for parents, doctors, and teachers to screen for children who are genetically predisposed to anorexia before they become sick.
“These kids are emotional Velcro,” Bulik says. Troubles that roll off other children’s backs really stick to them, and sometimes so subtly that their parents can’t tell. They tend to be well behaved and smart, but anxious and depressed, often about things over which they have no control—a dead animal in the road, for instance..."
Does this mean that others, parents included, have violated their boundaries? NO. To the contrary, these children may be well supported by their families, yet just plain highly sensitive. You do great damage to others in the family with these suppositions. Are the families of eating disordered patients perfect? Heck no. I'd never claim that. But neither are the families of children with cancer, diabetes, autism, schizophrenia or any other host of ailments.
Yes, I have lived through this difficult illness twice now...a sister and a daughter. I've also worked in a facility that treated young anorexics back in the '80's. I also have an undergraduate degree in social work and a master's degree in a related field and have worked directly with children for the past 25 years. I am in a 'related field' so to speak. My personal experience with this illness, twice over, has certainly affected my own attitudes toward mental health and families. First do no harm. And, my feeling is, the present very common approach to treating eating disorders is often quite hurtful to and exclusive of families. It often "listens" to eating disordered patients, sometimes lending credence to some of their cognitive distortions, which at times include distorted beliefs about families, friends, etc. Families, who one would think just might have clearer insight (not being starved or eating disordered, mind you) are often brushed asided, their contacted limited with their family member (if inpatient), their views questioned. At best, they are seen as expendable; at worst, they are excluded.
With my own daughter, I often found her thinking irrational and distorted at the height of her illness. It was a puzzle to me why I was told to 'listen to her' as though she were a fully functioning teen capable of making good decisions. At the time, she was clearly not. I loved her, but I knew she was not well or her usual self.
My points are pretty simple. This is a biologically based illness (Dr. Thomas Insel, head of NIMH, has said so himself), food is first and food is medicine, families are an ally in helping ill members back to wellness, treatment for anxiety and depression should take place (if needed, and they aren't always) once full nutrition has been re-established. Families should never be blamed. There is no evidence that families cause eating disorders and implying this can cause lasting damage (I also suffered PTSD over my daughter's long illness and recovery--a significant factor being the blame I felt for this illness). Is another family member's mental health worth less than the ED patient's? An approach that respects and supports the whole family is needed--and can be hard to find.
I am speaking up because I've had enough. I don't believe families are at fault--or any worse than other families. I am yelling that 'the emperor has no clothes.'
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Look, there are a lot of 'theories' out there about what cause eating disorders. Its very confusing to parents. Is it a choice? Or an illness that is 'not a choice'? How you view what causes an eating disorder will determine how you treat it.
Human beings are complex, no question. Dr. Walter Kaye's research has shown that people who develop eating disorders typically suffer from childhood anxiety pre-eating disorder. Does this mean their 'boundaries were invaded' in a relentless and sustained way? No, not necessarily. Cynthia Bulik has described sufferers as having certain personality traits .
"...A childhood tendency that Bulik calls neuroticism may be an indicator for parents, doctors, and teachers to screen for children who are genetically predisposed to anorexia before they become sick.
“These kids are emotional Velcro,” Bulik says. Troubles that roll off other children’s backs really stick to them, and sometimes so subtly that their parents can’t tell. They tend to be well behaved and smart, but anxious and depressed, often about things over which they have no control—a dead animal in the road, for instance..."
Does this mean that others, parents included, have violated their boundaries? NO. To the contrary, these children may be well supported by their families, yet just plain highly sensitive. You do great damage to others in the family with these suppositions. Are the families of eating disordered patients perfect? Heck no. I'd never claim that. But neither are the families of children with cancer, diabetes, autism, schizophrenia or any other host of ailments.
Yes, I have lived through this difficult illness twice now...a sister and a daughter. I've also worked in a facility that treated young anorexics back in the '80's. I also have an undergraduate degree in social work and a master's degree in a related field and have worked directly with children for the past 25 years. I am in a 'related field' so to speak. My personal experience with this illness, twice over, has certainly affected my own attitudes toward mental health and families. First do no harm. And, my feeling is, the present very common approach to treating eating disorders is often quite hurtful to and exclusive of families. It often "listens" to eating disordered patients, sometimes lending credence to some of their cognitive distortions, which at times include distorted beliefs about families, friends, etc. Families, who one would think just might have clearer insight (not being starved or eating disordered, mind you) are often brushed asided, their contacted limited with their family member (if inpatient), their views questioned. At best, they are seen as expendable; at worst, they are excluded.
With my own daughter, I often found her thinking irrational and distorted at the height of her illness. It was a puzzle to me why I was told to 'listen to her' as though she were a fully functioning teen capable of making good decisions. At the time, she was clearly not. I loved her, but I knew she was not well or her usual self.
My points are pretty simple. This is a biologically based illness (Dr. Thomas Insel, head of NIMH, has said so himself), food is first and food is medicine, families are an ally in helping ill members back to wellness, treatment for anxiety and depression should take place (if needed, and they aren't always) once full nutrition has been re-established. Families should never be blamed. There is no evidence that families cause eating disorders and implying this can cause lasting damage (I also suffered PTSD over my daughter's long illness and recovery--a significant factor being the blame I felt for this illness). Is another family member's mental health worth less than the ED patient's? An approach that respects and supports the whole family is needed--and can be hard to find.
I am speaking up because I've had enough. I don't believe families are at fault--or any worse than other families. I am yelling that 'the emperor has no clothes.'
anne
June 3, 2009 - 2:45pmThis Comment
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