Thank you for contributing to this valuable discussion. I continue to hope for more perspectives so we all can get a more encompassing picture of these issues.
In your post you refer to a population of families I and other clinicians may never see. It's possible and probable that more exists than what comes through our offices for treatment.
I, for example, only work with adults who are affected by an eating disorder. I do not work with children.
The stories I hear from my patients, and I've been in practice for almost 30 years, include unconscious and often unintended boundary invasions by parents. These invasions force the child to develop ways to defend herself. Some children cannot defend themselves. Others find various methods of defense, one of which is an eating disorder.
By the time some of these children are adults and bring themselves to treatment, defense patterns are established and, usually, the difficulty with parents continues.
It is possible that the adults who come for treatment received enough love and developed enough self respect to reach out for freedom from an eating disorder. It's also possible that these adults come from families who may be intrusive, even to an extreme, but at the same time love and want to support their child.
It's not unusual for me to see an adult because she wants treatment and her mother found me and made that first referral. And it's not unusual for that very same mother to create, as she always has in her parenting, difficulties that trigger and even undermine the recovery work.
This is not done intentionally. The mother is unaware and caught in her own psychological patterns. But, she still wants the best for her now adult child.
Families run the gamut from insensitive people who do not care about their children to caring and loving people who want the best for their children. I could never make one category for all families.
It may be that Maudsley and F.E.A.S.T. attract families who are sensitive, caring and willing to grow, learn and develop as they learn ways to help their children move to eating disorder recovery. It may be that families who are incapable of cooperating in such an effort are the families that never enroll in these programs or drop out quickly.
It’s a challenge for all of us to look at these issues because we don’t have information about or experience with the people we do not see. But to address the vast topic of eating disorder recovery, we need to be open to what and who we don’t know about.
We may be talking about different kinds of families.
I’d be very interested in hearing your response to this, Laura.
Comment Reply
Dear Laura,
Thank you for contributing to this valuable discussion. I continue to hope for more perspectives so we all can get a more encompassing picture of these issues.
In your post you refer to a population of families I and other clinicians may never see. It's possible and probable that more exists than what comes through our offices for treatment.
I, for example, only work with adults who are affected by an eating disorder. I do not work with children.
The stories I hear from my patients, and I've been in practice for almost 30 years, include unconscious and often unintended boundary invasions by parents. These invasions force the child to develop ways to defend herself. Some children cannot defend themselves. Others find various methods of defense, one of which is an eating disorder.
By the time some of these children are adults and bring themselves to treatment, defense patterns are established and, usually, the difficulty with parents continues.
It is possible that the adults who come for treatment received enough love and developed enough self respect to reach out for freedom from an eating disorder. It's also possible that these adults come from families who may be intrusive, even to an extreme, but at the same time love and want to support their child.
It's not unusual for me to see an adult because she wants treatment and her mother found me and made that first referral. And it's not unusual for that very same mother to create, as she always has in her parenting, difficulties that trigger and even undermine the recovery work.
This is not done intentionally. The mother is unaware and caught in her own psychological patterns. But, she still wants the best for her now adult child.
Families run the gamut from insensitive people who do not care about their children to caring and loving people who want the best for their children. I could never make one category for all families.
It may be that Maudsley and F.E.A.S.T. attract families who are sensitive, caring and willing to grow, learn and develop as they learn ways to help their children move to eating disorder recovery. It may be that families who are incapable of cooperating in such an effort are the families that never enroll in these programs or drop out quickly.
It’s a challenge for all of us to look at these issues because we don’t have information about or experience with the people we do not see. But to address the vast topic of eating disorder recovery, we need to be open to what and who we don’t know about.
We may be talking about different kinds of families.
I’d be very interested in hearing your response to this, Laura.
Thank you again for writing.
Best regards,
Joanna
June 6, 2009 - 1:34pmThis Comment
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