After discussion the two definitions (sex vs. making love)...perhaps there is a third way to have intercourse?! If your hubby is stressed and unhappy, he may feel pressure to perform in a particular way to suit you. He is obviously having intercourse in the way that he wants (a quickie). What if you both re-define intercourse in a 3rd way...perhaps as a "stress-reliever" or something that you both would find useful?! Even come up with a funny/sexy name or new "style" that is all your own.
I didn't want to close you into a box with definitions, but was trying to suggest that the way you define each of those different intercourse styles may overlap, and you may just need "an extra minute of passionate kissing" (for example) instead of an entire overhaul of "making love" and not "just sex". The latter seems daunting, but the first re-framing is something that is easier to achieve.
does that make sense? And, finding the exact behaviors that you both would find satisfying would be idea...hence the "3rd definition" of intercourse.
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Another addition to my comment above:
After discussion the two definitions (sex vs. making love)...perhaps there is a third way to have intercourse?! If your hubby is stressed and unhappy, he may feel pressure to perform in a particular way to suit you. He is obviously having intercourse in the way that he wants (a quickie). What if you both re-define intercourse in a 3rd way...perhaps as a "stress-reliever" or something that you both would find useful?! Even come up with a funny/sexy name or new "style" that is all your own.
I didn't want to close you into a box with definitions, but was trying to suggest that the way you define each of those different intercourse styles may overlap, and you may just need "an extra minute of passionate kissing" (for example) instead of an entire overhaul of "making love" and not "just sex". The latter seems daunting, but the first re-framing is something that is easier to achieve.
does that make sense? And, finding the exact behaviors that you both would find satisfying would be idea...hence the "3rd definition" of intercourse.
June 14, 2009 - 8:19amThis Comment
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