Hi, MKF, and welcome to EmpowHer! Thanks so much for your question.
Let me ask you a couple of questions. How long do your boyfriend and you plan to wait to have sex? Are you planning marriage? Or is this possibility a long way off?
Because the key to this is going to have to come from you, MKF. Sex drive is an individual thing, and a decision to wait is a big deal. Do you really want to wait? Or are you sort of wishing that that wasn't the case?
Have you had sex with other boyfriends before? If so, is that partially why it is hard to wait with this boyfriend?
When you say that you have to be literally held down to keep yourself from forcing yourself on him, is that really what you mean? That you have impulses that take over that you are not in control of, and that you would force your boyfriend -- which is rape -- to have sex with you even if he doesn't want to?
Somehow, I am thinking it's not quite that far, but that you just really really love being with him and that when you feel good and are kissing or messing around with him that it's hard to stop. Maybe even VERY hard to stop. But that's still different from forcing yourself on him.
Can you tell me a little more about all this? Do you think you need help with impulse control? Are you like this in any other areas of your life?
Comment Reply
Hi, MKF, and welcome to EmpowHer! Thanks so much for your question.
Let me ask you a couple of questions. How long do your boyfriend and you plan to wait to have sex? Are you planning marriage? Or is this possibility a long way off?
Because the key to this is going to have to come from you, MKF. Sex drive is an individual thing, and a decision to wait is a big deal. Do you really want to wait? Or are you sort of wishing that that wasn't the case?
Have you had sex with other boyfriends before? If so, is that partially why it is hard to wait with this boyfriend?
When you say that you have to be literally held down to keep yourself from forcing yourself on him, is that really what you mean? That you have impulses that take over that you are not in control of, and that you would force your boyfriend -- which is rape -- to have sex with you even if he doesn't want to?
Somehow, I am thinking it's not quite that far, but that you just really really love being with him and that when you feel good and are kissing or messing around with him that it's hard to stop. Maybe even VERY hard to stop. But that's still different from forcing yourself on him.
Can you tell me a little more about all this? Do you think you need help with impulse control? Are you like this in any other areas of your life?
July 21, 2009 - 8:45amThis Comment
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