Hi Kayla,
Here is some very helpful information called Teen Talk from a credible source (Planned Parenthood). This talks about saying no, pregnancy, being intimate or physically close with someone, and also about those "bumps" you are seeing.
I have a few questions for you:
- How much older is your mom's bestfriend's son?
- How long have you noticed these "bumps"?
If you had your period, then you are most likely not pregnant. So, that is one worry that can be off your shoulders. Do you have a trusted adult, either in your family, a friend's mom or someone at school that you can talk to about these bumps?
"Acne" on your vagina is actually not normal, and you can have bumps that need to be checked by your physician without them feeling itchy or painful. Actually, most sexually transmitted infections and diseases (STDs/STIs) do not have symptoms. And, you can have "bumps" that have nothing to do with your recent sexual encounter; maybe that's how you can talk to your mom. It may just be coincidence and you have something on your genitals that may have appeared regardless, and it's important to talk with your doctor about this. Even calling the nurse at your doctor's office (your mom doesn't have to know) to ask what they think.
You may even be able to tell your mom that you need to go to the doctor because you have something "happening" "down there" that you want to ask a doctor about first, and then promise her to talk with her about it later. She doesn't have to know that it was (or was not) from sexual contact.
Your mom may, however, want to know about her friend's son who is not getting consent from you. Even though you were unable to say "no" and perhaps barely whispered it...feeling the need to "give in" means he did not gain consent from you. A boy needs to ASK for CONSENT if it is not clear, and your body language and lack of voice made it clear that you were questioning the scenario. If you were too afraid to say no, this can be considered threatening and abusive behavior by this boy.
Bottom line:
1. If you had experienced menstrual bleeding, you are not pregnant. From what you described, he never actually put his penis into your vagina. (Although, pre-ejaculatory fluid may still be on the tip of his penis just from it being erect, and touching genital-to-genital could possibly lead to pregnancy).
2. If you have bumps on your vagina, and this is different than before, you need to have this checked by your doctor. Make up any excuse to call the doctor; tell your mom you'd like to practice making your own appointment. Or, tell your mom any number of reasons and tell the doctor the truth. Then, hopefully, you can eventually tell your mom the truth, too. She may surprise you by being very open and helpful! (I know mine was, when I was in a similar situation to yours!)
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Hi Kayla,
Here is some very helpful information called Teen Talk from a credible source (Planned Parenthood). This talks about saying no, pregnancy, being intimate or physically close with someone, and also about those "bumps" you are seeing.
I have a few questions for you:
- How much older is your mom's bestfriend's son?
- How long have you noticed these "bumps"?
If you had your period, then you are most likely not pregnant. So, that is one worry that can be off your shoulders. Do you have a trusted adult, either in your family, a friend's mom or someone at school that you can talk to about these bumps?
"Acne" on your vagina is actually not normal, and you can have bumps that need to be checked by your physician without them feeling itchy or painful. Actually, most sexually transmitted infections and diseases (STDs/STIs) do not have symptoms. And, you can have "bumps" that have nothing to do with your recent sexual encounter; maybe that's how you can talk to your mom. It may just be coincidence and you have something on your genitals that may have appeared regardless, and it's important to talk with your doctor about this. Even calling the nurse at your doctor's office (your mom doesn't have to know) to ask what they think.
You may even be able to tell your mom that you need to go to the doctor because you have something "happening" "down there" that you want to ask a doctor about first, and then promise her to talk with her about it later. She doesn't have to know that it was (or was not) from sexual contact.
Your mom may, however, want to know about her friend's son who is not getting consent from you. Even though you were unable to say "no" and perhaps barely whispered it...feeling the need to "give in" means he did not gain consent from you. A boy needs to ASK for CONSENT if it is not clear, and your body language and lack of voice made it clear that you were questioning the scenario. If you were too afraid to say no, this can be considered threatening and abusive behavior by this boy.
Bottom line:
August 2, 2009 - 6:14pm1. If you had experienced menstrual bleeding, you are not pregnant. From what you described, he never actually put his penis into your vagina. (Although, pre-ejaculatory fluid may still be on the tip of his penis just from it being erect, and touching genital-to-genital could possibly lead to pregnancy).
2. If you have bumps on your vagina, and this is different than before, you need to have this checked by your doctor. Make up any excuse to call the doctor; tell your mom you'd like to practice making your own appointment. Or, tell your mom any number of reasons and tell the doctor the truth. Then, hopefully, you can eventually tell your mom the truth, too. She may surprise you by being very open and helpful! (I know mine was, when I was in a similar situation to yours!)
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