Hi, Oskangal, and welcome to EmpowHer. Thank you for your question.
As you can tell from reading the posts above yours, the way people feel about porn varies widely. Some women are okay with it in the context of their relationship; others feel that it is completely wrong at all times; and others are conflicted. What's important here is YOUR relationship, and YOUR feelings about it.
The good news is this: You two talk about it. That's an important first step.
The bad news is this: Even though you talk about it and he knows your feelings about it, he continues to do it.
Your emotions are misplaced if you are jealous of the women in the pictures. They are just images. They are basically being used as objects, being paid to go in front of a camera and perform sexually. Your boyfriend gets turned on by looking at them, and it hurts your feelings. THAT is the problem. Despite the fact that you have told him how you feel, he continues to do it and to tell you that it shouldn't be a problem for you (even though he tells you that you are the best). This is an alarm bell for me.
You're not silly to worry about this. I think it's good to be concerned about it now. It seems probable that you're either going to have to live with it or break up with him, Oskangal. You shouldn't feel like an afterthought when it comes to intimacy.
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Hi, Oskangal, and welcome to EmpowHer. Thank you for your question.
As you can tell from reading the posts above yours, the way people feel about porn varies widely. Some women are okay with it in the context of their relationship; others feel that it is completely wrong at all times; and others are conflicted. What's important here is YOUR relationship, and YOUR feelings about it.
The good news is this: You two talk about it. That's an important first step.
The bad news is this: Even though you talk about it and he knows your feelings about it, he continues to do it.
Your emotions are misplaced if you are jealous of the women in the pictures. They are just images. They are basically being used as objects, being paid to go in front of a camera and perform sexually. Your boyfriend gets turned on by looking at them, and it hurts your feelings. THAT is the problem. Despite the fact that you have told him how you feel, he continues to do it and to tell you that it shouldn't be a problem for you (even though he tells you that you are the best). This is an alarm bell for me.
You're not silly to worry about this. I think it's good to be concerned about it now. It seems probable that you're either going to have to live with it or break up with him, Oskangal. You shouldn't feel like an afterthought when it comes to intimacy.
September 24, 2009 - 8:23amThis Comment
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