I have no problem with what you say, and I can believe that you know a lot of people who are having an issue with porn. I would say, however, that if someone is in a bad relationship which would be anytime they are unsatisfied with an aspect of their partner, that they should take it as a lesson and screen for that characteristic in their next relationship (yes I think they need to move on). Too often people spend their entire lives trying to fix a relationship that will ultimately never satisfy them. If good sex is important to you then I would encourage you to have sex before you commit to a long term relationship with a guy. If the sex is not good enough, move on. There may be guys out there who are addicted to porn. Well do your part in helping Darwinism root those types out. Just dont have their children. If you do decide to have children, educate them, find a way to talk to them about negative addictions like porn and how to recognize a bad habit forming before it becomes destructive. Aside from that there is really not much you can do about it. You can argue that there should be some governmental intervention, but personaly I am dead set against any further govt spending or medaling in public affairs in the US. As far as I'm concerned the govt is poking their nose into far more than they should be as it is and the current level of govt spending is close to 50% of the income of the population as it is (not even counting this huge stimulus package that recently went through). I suppose you could always start a not for profit organization to educate the world. All of that being said I realize that this is a place to come where you can complain about the things that are bothering you, and I think that's great. I just worry that some people may take a shared aggravation and dwell on it more than is healthy. By all means blow off steam and let other women know that they are not alone out there, just please dont make the mistake of thinking that this is a problem that can be solved by trying harder. If a man is addicted to porn he is not going to stop just because he has a loving wife who is becoming less happy, or sadly even if she were threatening to leave him over it. Any addiction recovery program relies on avoiding the things that remind you of your addiction. for alocoholism they tell you not to walk down the beer/wine isle at your supermarket. if there is something you need on that isle find it in another market where it's not near the alcohol. How would you stay away from the things that remind you of internet porn? avoid using computers? avoid looking at women? Not going to happen. It's one of those things where they have to bottom out before they will want to change badly enough. And more than likely they will have to bottom out more than one time.
I would also urge you to keep in mind that not every guy who is not interested in sex with his girl and who still masturbates to porn is an addict. Some times guys feel too much pressure to perform and porn is a pressure free release. So before you go and leave an otherwise good relationship look first at that aspect, and if it turns out that the guy is just plain addicted to porn then so be it. Let him have his addiction and tell him what he is offering is not enough and that you are leaving. That is how I choose to approach relationships, you can take my advise or leave it, and while I may sound rather emphatic I certainly dont begrudge anyone their own point of view, just dont expect me to change mine :)
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Anonymous,
I have no problem with what you say, and I can believe that you know a lot of people who are having an issue with porn. I would say, however, that if someone is in a bad relationship which would be anytime they are unsatisfied with an aspect of their partner, that they should take it as a lesson and screen for that characteristic in their next relationship (yes I think they need to move on). Too often people spend their entire lives trying to fix a relationship that will ultimately never satisfy them. If good sex is important to you then I would encourage you to have sex before you commit to a long term relationship with a guy. If the sex is not good enough, move on. There may be guys out there who are addicted to porn. Well do your part in helping Darwinism root those types out. Just dont have their children. If you do decide to have children, educate them, find a way to talk to them about negative addictions like porn and how to recognize a bad habit forming before it becomes destructive. Aside from that there is really not much you can do about it. You can argue that there should be some governmental intervention, but personaly I am dead set against any further govt spending or medaling in public affairs in the US. As far as I'm concerned the govt is poking their nose into far more than they should be as it is and the current level of govt spending is close to 50% of the income of the population as it is (not even counting this huge stimulus package that recently went through). I suppose you could always start a not for profit organization to educate the world. All of that being said I realize that this is a place to come where you can complain about the things that are bothering you, and I think that's great. I just worry that some people may take a shared aggravation and dwell on it more than is healthy. By all means blow off steam and let other women know that they are not alone out there, just please dont make the mistake of thinking that this is a problem that can be solved by trying harder. If a man is addicted to porn he is not going to stop just because he has a loving wife who is becoming less happy, or sadly even if she were threatening to leave him over it. Any addiction recovery program relies on avoiding the things that remind you of your addiction. for alocoholism they tell you not to walk down the beer/wine isle at your supermarket. if there is something you need on that isle find it in another market where it's not near the alcohol. How would you stay away from the things that remind you of internet porn? avoid using computers? avoid looking at women? Not going to happen. It's one of those things where they have to bottom out before they will want to change badly enough. And more than likely they will have to bottom out more than one time.
I would also urge you to keep in mind that not every guy who is not interested in sex with his girl and who still masturbates to porn is an addict. Some times guys feel too much pressure to perform and porn is a pressure free release. So before you go and leave an otherwise good relationship look first at that aspect, and if it turns out that the guy is just plain addicted to porn then so be it. Let him have his addiction and tell him what he is offering is not enough and that you are leaving. That is how I choose to approach relationships, you can take my advise or leave it, and while I may sound rather emphatic I certainly dont begrudge anyone their own point of view, just dont expect me to change mine :)
March 13, 2010 - 3:12amThis Comment
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