Seven years isn't much of a difference, you're right. And no one thinks so if a man is seven years older than a woman. But for some reason, there still exists a bias in society that that's the way it's "supposed" to be.
You pretty much have just a couple of options here, because it probably will happen again in the future, even if just once in a while. It seems like you can either:
1. figure out what has upset you so much about this and try to let it go;
2. think of a comeback to have ready the next time someone asks about it;
3. break up.
From your post, it sounds like No. 3 is not an option. Having been together for five years, it seems like there's some commitment there. So if I were you, work on the first two. And try not to worry so much about the word "cougar." It's actually a term that is used more for women who are dating men a decade or two younger than they are.
I think the previous poster may be right -- perhaps you are looking for validation that you don't look your age, and it hurt your feelings when you thought someone noticed?
If so, it happens to many of us at different times in our lives, regardless of whether we're in a relationship or not, or whether the ages in that relationship are one way or the other. There are just moments along the way in life where suddenly something really gets to us about aging. It might be the first time someone calls us "ma'am." It might be when we see laugh lines in the mirror and realize that the Oil of Olay commercials are targeted toward us. It might be when our son or daughter reaches a certain age, or when we reach an age that we remember our parents as being. Or when we have a few too many gray hairs, or when we hit perimenopause and realize that we can't fool our own hormones. They are just natural moments that happen to all of us.
Try to figure out why the woman's question hurt you so much, and deal with that issue. And the next time someone asks, whip out a reply like "Yes we are, why do you ask?" to focus the attention back on the person asking.
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Hey, Anon,
Seven years isn't much of a difference, you're right. And no one thinks so if a man is seven years older than a woman. But for some reason, there still exists a bias in society that that's the way it's "supposed" to be.
You pretty much have just a couple of options here, because it probably will happen again in the future, even if just once in a while. It seems like you can either:
1. figure out what has upset you so much about this and try to let it go;
2. think of a comeback to have ready the next time someone asks about it;
3. break up.
From your post, it sounds like No. 3 is not an option. Having been together for five years, it seems like there's some commitment there. So if I were you, work on the first two. And try not to worry so much about the word "cougar." It's actually a term that is used more for women who are dating men a decade or two younger than they are.
I think the previous poster may be right -- perhaps you are looking for validation that you don't look your age, and it hurt your feelings when you thought someone noticed?
If so, it happens to many of us at different times in our lives, regardless of whether we're in a relationship or not, or whether the ages in that relationship are one way or the other. There are just moments along the way in life where suddenly something really gets to us about aging. It might be the first time someone calls us "ma'am." It might be when we see laugh lines in the mirror and realize that the Oil of Olay commercials are targeted toward us. It might be when our son or daughter reaches a certain age, or when we reach an age that we remember our parents as being. Or when we have a few too many gray hairs, or when we hit perimenopause and realize that we can't fool our own hormones. They are just natural moments that happen to all of us.
Try to figure out why the woman's question hurt you so much, and deal with that issue. And the next time someone asks, whip out a reply like "Yes we are, why do you ask?" to focus the attention back on the person asking.
September 2, 2009 - 10:06amThis Comment
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