I understand where you are coming from, too. I had those exact same feelings, but from the other perspective: I was a new mom with a full-time career, filled with other women who had grown children, or decided not to have children. I felt like I had no one to talk to, no one cared beyond the first few "polite" minutes of hearing about my new baby.
I think every woman can relate to your story, as it we have all been through major transitions in our life when our old friends may not fit in with our new lifestyle. Or, our old friends are the ones who have changed (or moved), and we are the ones feeling left behind...even by our own choice.
What activities or hobbies do you enjoy? Instead of finding groups of women who are specifically "CBC", can you find women who share common interests that you DO have (instead of based on what you don't have?). I joined a cycling group, and this group is made up of women of all ages....teenagers to women in their 60s and beyond (I'm mid-30), and it works because we talk about cycling. Honestly, I don't even know if some of these women have children or not! It is nice being somewhere where I don't talk about my child..ha ha! Just as it is nice to have work-friends, but also friends outside of work where you can talk about movies or go dancing with...and not talk about work. Do you enjoy physical activities? Do you enjoy being creative? There are groups for every sport or activity you can imagine, as well as art classes, sewing groups, book clubs...you name it.
I am sorry you are feeling left out, but perhaps finding some new friends will also give you some feelings of understanding and inclusion that your current friends do not, and you can begin to connect with your old friends once you feel like you've taken control of your situation and are not feeling left out.
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I understand where you are coming from, too. I had those exact same feelings, but from the other perspective: I was a new mom with a full-time career, filled with other women who had grown children, or decided not to have children. I felt like I had no one to talk to, no one cared beyond the first few "polite" minutes of hearing about my new baby.
I think every woman can relate to your story, as it we have all been through major transitions in our life when our old friends may not fit in with our new lifestyle. Or, our old friends are the ones who have changed (or moved), and we are the ones feeling left behind...even by our own choice.
What activities or hobbies do you enjoy? Instead of finding groups of women who are specifically "CBC", can you find women who share common interests that you DO have (instead of based on what you don't have?). I joined a cycling group, and this group is made up of women of all ages....teenagers to women in their 60s and beyond (I'm mid-30), and it works because we talk about cycling. Honestly, I don't even know if some of these women have children or not! It is nice being somewhere where I don't talk about my child..ha ha! Just as it is nice to have work-friends, but also friends outside of work where you can talk about movies or go dancing with...and not talk about work. Do you enjoy physical activities? Do you enjoy being creative? There are groups for every sport or activity you can imagine, as well as art classes, sewing groups, book clubs...you name it.
I am sorry you are feeling left out, but perhaps finding some new friends will also give you some feelings of understanding and inclusion that your current friends do not, and you can begin to connect with your old friends once you feel like you've taken control of your situation and are not feeling left out.
September 27, 2009 - 8:11amThis Comment
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