What startled me is that even though I think of myself as a sensitive person in regards to language, I could actually imagine myself saying a couple of your first ones. And as I thought through why, I realized that it's hard to know WHAT to say.
In telling someone else that I too have been exhausted, perhaps I meant to show some way in which "I identify with you," hoping to make you feel not so all alone. Instead, the opposite would be true.
In telling someone that they are looking good, perhaps I would mean to lift their spirits. Instead I would be negating their experience.
In telling someone else that maybe exercise would help, perhaps I would mean that "it helped me when I was ill, so i will share." Instead, I would be showing how little I knew about CFS.
I really love your list. It will definitely make me more conscious of how what I mean to say is not necessarily how someone else will hear it.
Comment Reply
Jody,
What a thoughtful, smart list.
What startled me is that even though I think of myself as a sensitive person in regards to language, I could actually imagine myself saying a couple of your first ones. And as I thought through why, I realized that it's hard to know WHAT to say.
In telling someone else that I too have been exhausted, perhaps I meant to show some way in which "I identify with you," hoping to make you feel not so all alone. Instead, the opposite would be true.
In telling someone that they are looking good, perhaps I would mean to lift their spirits. Instead I would be negating their experience.
In telling someone else that maybe exercise would help, perhaps I would mean that "it helped me when I was ill, so i will share." Instead, I would be showing how little I knew about CFS.
I really love your list. It will definitely make me more conscious of how what I mean to say is not necessarily how someone else will hear it.
November 2, 2009 - 8:14amThis Comment
Reply