It is tricky talking about this subject, because unfortunately the conscientious folks out there, who are already trying to understand and offer support, so often are the ones who will read and wonder if they've seen themselves in this list.
Diane, this is for you personally and also for every other sweet soul out there who is wondering if they have discouraged a sick person where they meant to encourage.
You said about me somewhere else, that I was just not the sort of person to be trying to lay blame, or discourage. That you knew enough about me to know that my goal was an honorable one, and meant to be a positive one. And I know this same thing about you.
This article could probably use a companion piece about metacommunications, the non-verbal signs of disinterest and rejection. Because that is really ultimately what this article is talking about, the signs of disinterest and rejection -- which will often come out in these 10 ways, and more.
But Diane, and all other sensitive exhorters out there, you could say some of those things on the list and I would know you were doing it out of consideration and concern. And that would make all the difference in the world. I would know that I could explain to you about whatever your misunderstandings might be, and you would want to know. You would care. You would do your best to tweak your responses to best fit the need.
I know that about you.
And, really, the worst thing is to say nothing. I'd rather have someone like you say something else from this list and you and I have a discussion about it, than for you to be afraid to take the chance and not respond at all.
The words ultimately aren't the important thing. It is the caring response that matters. You would always bring that to the table Diane. And so would those other kind-hearted compassionate readers who so would like to help the vulnerable chronically ill.
I can't thank you enough for your comments, Diane. I think it is so important that this be brought to light.
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Diane,
I am so glad you posted these comments.
It is tricky talking about this subject, because unfortunately the conscientious folks out there, who are already trying to understand and offer support, so often are the ones who will read and wonder if they've seen themselves in this list.
Diane, this is for you personally and also for every other sweet soul out there who is wondering if they have discouraged a sick person where they meant to encourage.
You said about me somewhere else, that I was just not the sort of person to be trying to lay blame, or discourage. That you knew enough about me to know that my goal was an honorable one, and meant to be a positive one. And I know this same thing about you.
This article could probably use a companion piece about metacommunications, the non-verbal signs of disinterest and rejection. Because that is really ultimately what this article is talking about, the signs of disinterest and rejection -- which will often come out in these 10 ways, and more.
But Diane, and all other sensitive exhorters out there, you could say some of those things on the list and I would know you were doing it out of consideration and concern. And that would make all the difference in the world. I would know that I could explain to you about whatever your misunderstandings might be, and you would want to know. You would care. You would do your best to tweak your responses to best fit the need.
I know that about you.
And, really, the worst thing is to say nothing. I'd rather have someone like you say something else from this list and you and I have a discussion about it, than for you to be afraid to take the chance and not respond at all.
The words ultimately aren't the important thing. It is the caring response that matters. You would always bring that to the table Diane. And so would those other kind-hearted compassionate readers who so would like to help the vulnerable chronically ill.
I can't thank you enough for your comments, Diane. I think it is so important that this be brought to light.
November 2, 2009 - 10:06amThis Comment
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