Of course I was told I should have radiation I was then told Chemo. Since the lymp node invovlment was so "extensive" (his words) there is no guarantee cancer wouldn't show somewhere else at any given time. Weighing my thoughts on how I would handle going through chemo and maybe months or even weeks later have cancer pop up in some other organ I choose NOT to do either. It was our understanding that the lymph nodes he removed had no "deffinate margins" and it was an rather extensive. Surgery went VERY POORLY! I went through 7 weeks of SEVERE pain and if it hadn't been for a wonderful Pain Specialist I had been to previously I'm not sure I would still be in discomfort. Believe me it's not easy facing one's own mortality. I went through many weeks of painful soul searching. I spent many a night up with my husband talking about "what if's". My children were in TOTAL DENIAL when they first heard of the cancer and to this day still harbor doubts. They just can't believe MOM can even say cancer much less have it. They are carrying on with love and effection and are VERY supportive of my decision. They have talked me into doing things I have kept putting off and are thriving on the stories I relay to them. They know that I'm living every moment to the fullest. If my cancer returns I will face it when it happens. I have arranged for palliative care and have had long conversations with my specialists on what will happen if the times comes to face it again. I have spoken to 2 women that have chosen the same path and to this day one is 8 years beyond diagnosis and the other 2yrs. Everyone I have spoken to in the past with cancer and had recieved treatment are now not here to continue that discussion. I believe I've made the right decision for ME!
Comment Reply
Of course I was told I should have radiation I was then told Chemo. Since the lymp node invovlment was so "extensive" (his words) there is no guarantee cancer wouldn't show somewhere else at any given time. Weighing my thoughts on how I would handle going through chemo and maybe months or even weeks later have cancer pop up in some other organ I choose NOT to do either. It was our understanding that the lymph nodes he removed had no "deffinate margins" and it was an rather extensive. Surgery went VERY POORLY! I went through 7 weeks of SEVERE pain and if it hadn't been for a wonderful Pain Specialist I had been to previously I'm not sure I would still be in discomfort. Believe me it's not easy facing one's own mortality. I went through many weeks of painful soul searching. I spent many a night up with my husband talking about "what if's". My children were in TOTAL DENIAL when they first heard of the cancer and to this day still harbor doubts. They just can't believe MOM can even say cancer much less have it. They are carrying on with love and effection and are VERY supportive of my decision. They have talked me into doing things I have kept putting off and are thriving on the stories I relay to them. They know that I'm living every moment to the fullest. If my cancer returns I will face it when it happens. I have arranged for palliative care and have had long conversations with my specialists on what will happen if the times comes to face it again. I have spoken to 2 women that have chosen the same path and to this day one is 8 years beyond diagnosis and the other 2yrs. Everyone I have spoken to in the past with cancer and had recieved treatment are now not here to continue that discussion. I believe I've made the right decision for ME!
December 15, 2009 - 1:07amThis Comment
Reply