I am going through the exact same thing with my boyfriend. We've been together for 16 months now and we've lived together for almost a year, we got together when I was 16 and I've just turned 18 (I live in the UK so it's all legal), and he is 22 (but acts like a 15 year old most of the time so the age difference actually seems like the other way around most of the time...).
When we first got together we had a really healthy sex life, but for the past 6 months or so it has been almost non existent. It's actually become a source of great anxiety and upset for me. I was a victim of sexual abuse (non-family member) in my early to mid teens and already suffer from mental health issues, I was utterly repulsed by sex after what happened to me and felt that it was dirty and was pretty terrified at the prospect of ever having a sexual relationship, but when I met my boyfriend I felt comfortable enough to try and let those thoughts go. It is still still difficult at times but I do enjoy sex and this sudden complete lack of it is really troubling me.
He has slept with over 25 people and has a reputation with all his friends of being a bit of a former womanizer, and a few months ago I found out that he'd been arranging to get together with his ex girlfriend online and had also been having sexually explicit conversations with another girl via facebook. It really upsets me that he won't have sex with me and yet he had been doing this behind my back (it obviously devastates me in other ways too but keeping it on topic...).
Just for the record, I am 100% sure that he is not being unfaithful and that he hasn't got any STDs.
I've asked him why he won't sleep with me various times and he just keeps making excuses up. He is now claiming that he has thrush and has even insisted on getting some cream for it (I know he hasn't as he's "had it" and been "using cream everyday" for about 3 weeks now and refuses to go to the doctors when I express my mock concern). The last time we had sex was 10 weeks ago the day after I found out about the girls on the internet.
He has said to me that he just doesn't get aroused anymore, and that it isn't me. He also uses the "I'm too tired from work" excuse like it's the holy grail, which would be plausible as he works long shifts and finishes about 12am every night, however, even when he's got 2 or 3 days off he still won't sleep with me.
I honestly don't know what to do. I absolutley adore him and we talk about getting married and having children in the future, we have a really solid relationship (apart from arguing about house work!) apart from this. I am so confused. I've heard about this happening to married couples ten years down the line but not just over a year and this young. What should I do?
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I am going through the exact same thing with my boyfriend. We've been together for 16 months now and we've lived together for almost a year, we got together when I was 16 and I've just turned 18 (I live in the UK so it's all legal), and he is 22 (but acts like a 15 year old most of the time so the age difference actually seems like the other way around most of the time...).
January 14, 2012 - 3:55pmWhen we first got together we had a really healthy sex life, but for the past 6 months or so it has been almost non existent. It's actually become a source of great anxiety and upset for me. I was a victim of sexual abuse (non-family member) in my early to mid teens and already suffer from mental health issues, I was utterly repulsed by sex after what happened to me and felt that it was dirty and was pretty terrified at the prospect of ever having a sexual relationship, but when I met my boyfriend I felt comfortable enough to try and let those thoughts go. It is still still difficult at times but I do enjoy sex and this sudden complete lack of it is really troubling me.
He has slept with over 25 people and has a reputation with all his friends of being a bit of a former womanizer, and a few months ago I found out that he'd been arranging to get together with his ex girlfriend online and had also been having sexually explicit conversations with another girl via facebook. It really upsets me that he won't have sex with me and yet he had been doing this behind my back (it obviously devastates me in other ways too but keeping it on topic...).
Just for the record, I am 100% sure that he is not being unfaithful and that he hasn't got any STDs.
I've asked him why he won't sleep with me various times and he just keeps making excuses up. He is now claiming that he has thrush and has even insisted on getting some cream for it (I know he hasn't as he's "had it" and been "using cream everyday" for about 3 weeks now and refuses to go to the doctors when I express my mock concern). The last time we had sex was 10 weeks ago the day after I found out about the girls on the internet.
He has said to me that he just doesn't get aroused anymore, and that it isn't me. He also uses the "I'm too tired from work" excuse like it's the holy grail, which would be plausible as he works long shifts and finishes about 12am every night, however, even when he's got 2 or 3 days off he still won't sleep with me.
I honestly don't know what to do. I absolutley adore him and we talk about getting married and having children in the future, we have a really solid relationship (apart from arguing about house work!) apart from this. I am so confused. I've heard about this happening to married couples ten years down the line but not just over a year and this young. What should I do?
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