I probably need to write for the purpose of self therapy. I feel this blog has helped me to stop crying, however, when I'm done typing, it might spur up again. I have known my boyfriend since the beginning of 2010 and now we have been together for a little over 7 months. I have very strong feelings for him, and it has been times where I wanted to share the L word. My boyfriend is five years older than I and when were not together sex was a major part of our lives. Movies were as well. Both are not so much any more. I can care less about the movies, but since I thought of it while reading the posts here, I figure it may have some merit. We both work, and I go to school. This has been the case since we have started dating each other and I just don't see any difference that it could pose. I now live with him, and I love it!
I was sexually active before my current boyfriend and found out that I'm unable to really take it hard! So I really enjoy the romantic way of having sex, mainly because I will hurt during and after if any other way. Well he knows this, and I have always enjoyed having sex with him. Its just that its been so long since we have had it, I almost have been making myself feel that it was my idea. Making excuses like, oh well it hurts anyway when I do have sex with him, since he is very large! Well, today, he just left for work, and all morning I was trying to get some, and he would not budge.
We have had many a talks about this, and I have gotten reasons of he is not into the romantic kind of sex, he likes the freaky stuff more so than what we have done before, and I told him that I did not like for him to "toss my salad" one time when we were having an argument about this, and he just can't see himself doing this right now. He has also said things like, he feels that we are closer and closer everyday.
I mean we have had conversations about marriage, children an the whole nine yards, but there is no action. I give him these funny looks when things like this come on on tv or in general conversations, and he just smiles like opps that us. I don't know what to think. I ask him is he not attracted to me any more, and frankly i haven't changed a bit. He says that it is not that and basically does not want to speak of the matter anymore. I am so fed up. I'm so horny!!!!! I cant take it. It is getting so bad, i have started thinking of ex boyfriends, i could call. I feel so dirty and shameful, but dont know what else to do. this is the only downside to our relationship, everything else is lovely. I mean it too. I cant figure it out.
Tomorrow is my birthday, and if i don't get some, there is going to be some problems. now i feel like the man in the relationship. I mean some times i feel like he is not a man for acting this way. I have even had thoughts of him being on the DL or having another chick on the side. I cant imagine it but hey like we have all said in the post earlier, anything is possible. :(
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I probably need to write for the purpose of self therapy. I feel this blog has helped me to stop crying, however, when I'm done typing, it might spur up again. I have known my boyfriend since the beginning of 2010 and now we have been together for a little over 7 months. I have very strong feelings for him, and it has been times where I wanted to share the L word. My boyfriend is five years older than I and when were not together sex was a major part of our lives. Movies were as well. Both are not so much any more. I can care less about the movies, but since I thought of it while reading the posts here, I figure it may have some merit. We both work, and I go to school. This has been the case since we have started dating each other and I just don't see any difference that it could pose. I now live with him, and I love it!
I was sexually active before my current boyfriend and found out that I'm unable to really take it hard! So I really enjoy the romantic way of having sex, mainly because I will hurt during and after if any other way. Well he knows this, and I have always enjoyed having sex with him. Its just that its been so long since we have had it, I almost have been making myself feel that it was my idea. Making excuses like, oh well it hurts anyway when I do have sex with him, since he is very large! Well, today, he just left for work, and all morning I was trying to get some, and he would not budge.
We have had many a talks about this, and I have gotten reasons of he is not into the romantic kind of sex, he likes the freaky stuff more so than what we have done before, and I told him that I did not like for him to "toss my salad" one time when we were having an argument about this, and he just can't see himself doing this right now. He has also said things like, he feels that we are closer and closer everyday.
I mean we have had conversations about marriage, children an the whole nine yards, but there is no action. I give him these funny looks when things like this come on on tv or in general conversations, and he just smiles like opps that us. I don't know what to think. I ask him is he not attracted to me any more, and frankly i haven't changed a bit. He says that it is not that and basically does not want to speak of the matter anymore. I am so fed up. I'm so horny!!!!! I cant take it. It is getting so bad, i have started thinking of ex boyfriends, i could call. I feel so dirty and shameful, but dont know what else to do. this is the only downside to our relationship, everything else is lovely. I mean it too. I cant figure it out.
Tomorrow is my birthday, and if i don't get some, there is going to be some problems. now i feel like the man in the relationship. I mean some times i feel like he is not a man for acting this way. I have even had thoughts of him being on the DL or having another chick on the side. I cant imagine it but hey like we have all said in the post earlier, anything is possible. :(
February 29, 2012 - 4:10pmThis Comment
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