Have the two of you talked about this outside of the bedroom? Have you been able to tell your fiance how you are feeling? I am sure he sees you cry; what is his reaction to this?
You can't take this all on yourself as "what you are doing wrong." It's not that way. Whenever there are sexual problems in a relationship, it is both people who contribute in some way. And the only way to get past it is if both people see it as a problem they want to fix.
One thing is clear: you are linking your self-esteem to his acceptance or rejection of your sexual advances. That's probably changed the dynamic of the relationship somewhat. I wonder if you feel you have changed since the two of you started having sex? Has he?
Can you find a time to talk about this issue seriously soon? Maybe at lunch on Saturday at a favorite spot for the two of you? Where you both can talk quietly without the pressure of being in the bedroom right away?
I have to say that if you are structuring your entire honeymoon around trying not to be alone, there's a real problem here, Anon. Are you both certain that marriage is right for right now?
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Anon,
Have the two of you talked about this outside of the bedroom? Have you been able to tell your fiance how you are feeling? I am sure he sees you cry; what is his reaction to this?
You can't take this all on yourself as "what you are doing wrong." It's not that way. Whenever there are sexual problems in a relationship, it is both people who contribute in some way. And the only way to get past it is if both people see it as a problem they want to fix.
One thing is clear: you are linking your self-esteem to his acceptance or rejection of your sexual advances. That's probably changed the dynamic of the relationship somewhat. I wonder if you feel you have changed since the two of you started having sex? Has he?
Can you find a time to talk about this issue seriously soon? Maybe at lunch on Saturday at a favorite spot for the two of you? Where you both can talk quietly without the pressure of being in the bedroom right away?
I have to say that if you are structuring your entire honeymoon around trying not to be alone, there's a real problem here, Anon. Are you both certain that marriage is right for right now?
April 27, 2010 - 8:42amThis Comment
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