Well I will speak from the perspective of the boyfriend. I am currently in a relationship of just over 2 years and I have had my fair share of paranoia about pregnacy. My girlfriend has been taking birth control for a bit over a year now, and has always been religious about taking the pill on time, every day. We do use condoms as well (almost always), however, even when we are using both forms I find myself thinking those terrifying thoughts about pregnancy.
Since we started having sex I've always felt very paranoid about the possibility of a baby, even occasionally losing sleep due to the stress it caused. There was even a time just short of a year ago (so she was on the pill at the time) when I became so scared every time we were together, that I told her we couldn't do it anymore. We went 3 months without it. Three months I couldn't relax enough. Don't get me wrong though, I like to do it as much as the next person, but for some people like myself and your boyfriend, the stress it causes, the worry that our whole life as we saw it could be stolen away in an instant, is just too terrifying to cope with.
During the last year my girlfriend has expressed concern and feelings of inadequacy similar to what you're describing, and I've really tried to reassure her that it isn't anything wrong with her or us in the slightest. It's just me. I think now she has finally started to accept this given my periodic bursts of paranoia about the issue. In the end, you just need to realize that we all have our own demons, our own fears, and for some of us this happens to affect our partners. Be open and honest about how you feel, and be willing to accept his feelings as well.
P.S.: I just realized that this is now a 2 year old post but I suppose someone may take something useful from this so I'll post it anyway.
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Well I will speak from the perspective of the boyfriend. I am currently in a relationship of just over 2 years and I have had my fair share of paranoia about pregnacy. My girlfriend has been taking birth control for a bit over a year now, and has always been religious about taking the pill on time, every day. We do use condoms as well (almost always), however, even when we are using both forms I find myself thinking those terrifying thoughts about pregnancy.
Since we started having sex I've always felt very paranoid about the possibility of a baby, even occasionally losing sleep due to the stress it caused. There was even a time just short of a year ago (so she was on the pill at the time) when I became so scared every time we were together, that I told her we couldn't do it anymore. We went 3 months without it. Three months I couldn't relax enough. Don't get me wrong though, I like to do it as much as the next person, but for some people like myself and your boyfriend, the stress it causes, the worry that our whole life as we saw it could be stolen away in an instant, is just too terrifying to cope with.
During the last year my girlfriend has expressed concern and feelings of inadequacy similar to what you're describing, and I've really tried to reassure her that it isn't anything wrong with her or us in the slightest. It's just me. I think now she has finally started to accept this given my periodic bursts of paranoia about the issue. In the end, you just need to realize that we all have our own demons, our own fears, and for some of us this happens to affect our partners. Be open and honest about how you feel, and be willing to accept his feelings as well.
P.S.: I just realized that this is now a 2 year old post but I suppose someone may take something useful from this so I'll post it anyway.
May 6, 2012 - 11:09pmThis Comment
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