Welcome to EmpowHER, and thank you so much for writing.
Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder has a lot of different aspects to it. The best news I read in your question is that you want to help him and he wants to quit being the way he is. There's a lot of help available if the two of you will accept it.
I say the two of you because you have been so affected by his behavior over the years too. Have you seen a counselor or therapist just for you? Especially now, with the OCPD possibility? You need to understand your feelings, emotions and boundaries so you can stand up for yourself when he is angry or acting out. And he needs to find help too, in the form of therapy and/or medication. Might he be willing to do that?
and a list of symptoms from the National Institutes of Health:
•Perfectionism
•Inflexibility
•Preoccupations with details, rules and lists
•Reluctance to allow others to do things
•Excessive devotions to work
•Lack of generosity
•Inability to throw things away even if there is not value in the object
And here is a self-assessment. Of course it's not a diagnosis, but it's an interesting exercise:
The good news? There are a lot of good qualities associated with OCPD people. I'm sure you can name several strengths associated with your husband's personality. It's only when the need to be perfect takes over to such an extent that living life can actually become miserable (both for the person and/or for the people around the person) that we tend to see it as a disorder.
If your husband is hesitant to get therapy, perhaps a book would help. There are several good ones listed here:
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Linda,
Welcome to EmpowHER, and thank you so much for writing.
Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder has a lot of different aspects to it. The best news I read in your question is that you want to help him and he wants to quit being the way he is. There's a lot of help available if the two of you will accept it.
I say the two of you because you have been so affected by his behavior over the years too. Have you seen a counselor or therapist just for you? Especially now, with the OCPD possibility? You need to understand your feelings, emotions and boundaries so you can stand up for yourself when he is angry or acting out. And he needs to find help too, in the form of therapy and/or medication. Might he be willing to do that?
Here's a good definition of OCPD:
http://www.thehealthcenter.info/adult-ocd/ocpd.htm
and a list of symptoms from the National Institutes of Health:
•Perfectionism
•Inflexibility
•Preoccupations with details, rules and lists
•Reluctance to allow others to do things
•Excessive devotions to work
•Lack of generosity
•Inability to throw things away even if there is not value in the object
And here is a self-assessment. Of course it's not a diagnosis, but it's an interesting exercise:
http://www.personalityone.com/obsessive-compulsive-personality-disorder.html
The good news? There are a lot of good qualities associated with OCPD people. I'm sure you can name several strengths associated with your husband's personality. It's only when the need to be perfect takes over to such an extent that living life can actually become miserable (both for the person and/or for the people around the person) that we tend to see it as a disorder.
If your husband is hesitant to get therapy, perhaps a book would help. There are several good ones listed here:
https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=perfectionism
Does any of this information help?
January 5, 2010 - 10:17amThis Comment
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