You're right, counseling for me would probably help me see why I have "hope" left in this when it's pretty obvious that it's one-sided. In a way I feel like I haven't done everything I could or should be to make this work. I am afraid to give up and accept that this marriage was a failure.
I completely see what you're saying and I can see how he fits the bill. However some part of me can't believe that he'd be like that or that he is doing that. I can see that I can/am in denial about how he views me and our relationship. In my eyes, I stereo-type manipulation, lies, secrets and all those negatives as someone who show signs of being a jerk. But I can't accept my husband is like that because I do see his gentle side and his fears. In some way it's blinded me from seeing what others see or say.
And may be couseling for me may help me find the underlying emotion of why I feel like I need this relationship. But I can't exactly tell my husband I'm going to get counseling because he'd say (and he has before when I mention this) "You're so gullible. It's fake. Why do you believe that?" In some ways I don't blame him for us. I blame myself. I may have been too controling, I didn't trust him, I don't give him space and may be that is why he does this. I nag him a lot because he's forgetful.
There are always two sides to every story and my concern is that it could be my fault too. I know I can only fix me and not him so I only focus on me and what's wrong with me and how I can adjust to help things become better.
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You're right, counseling for me would probably help me see why I have "hope" left in this when it's pretty obvious that it's one-sided. In a way I feel like I haven't done everything I could or should be to make this work. I am afraid to give up and accept that this marriage was a failure.
I completely see what you're saying and I can see how he fits the bill. However some part of me can't believe that he'd be like that or that he is doing that. I can see that I can/am in denial about how he views me and our relationship. In my eyes, I stereo-type manipulation, lies, secrets and all those negatives as someone who show signs of being a jerk. But I can't accept my husband is like that because I do see his gentle side and his fears. In some way it's blinded me from seeing what others see or say.
And may be couseling for me may help me find the underlying emotion of why I feel like I need this relationship. But I can't exactly tell my husband I'm going to get counseling because he'd say (and he has before when I mention this) "You're so gullible. It's fake. Why do you believe that?" In some ways I don't blame him for us. I blame myself. I may have been too controling, I didn't trust him, I don't give him space and may be that is why he does this. I nag him a lot because he's forgetful.
There are always two sides to every story and my concern is that it could be my fault too. I know I can only fix me and not him so I only focus on me and what's wrong with me and how I can adjust to help things become better.
February 25, 2010 - 4:28pmThis Comment
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