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hi maria, its my faith in God hon,that gets me thru each day especially the difficult ones. you know how the symptoms appear whether your getting along the husband or not, whether bills get paid or not, the kids need you... whether your house needs cleaning or not... i learned early on in life that i couldn't do it all alone. that God is always with us and that can I turn to him for strength or on a good day, simply to enjoy his gift of grace to us. i say this to you because we all draw from our experiences in this life to guide us from one moment to the next tho sometimes it can be as you say, painful to have to re-live some of those experiences. to be alone in your struggles with the symptoms of a cyst, a young family and trying to find help n support from drs, family n friends helped to mold you, bring out strengths you didn't know you possessed and here you are helping, guiding and offering support to others like me. So please don't be too sad. This is the gift you are passing on. i am comforted that God never puts more on our shoulders than he knows we can bear and when i am feeling low i break out the story of 'Job.' helps me keep my perspective. when all else fails i have a small pity party in which i'm the guest of honor and it feels good to just let go. a good cry, a lttle wine, some chocolate etc....so please know how much you really are appreciated for all you've gone thru thus far and what a light in the dark you are to the rest of us. also know that were all here for you too. affectionately lee