Hello again, thank you very much for the advice. I never considered couples counseling but now I want to try it.
As for Cary, your questions really hit me hard and got me to understand what I truly want out of working on our relationship and why I love him. I don't have all my answers but just those questions are forcing me to clear my mind and really answer them from my heart and not to just cough up an answer. Thank you so much again.
Also, to Susan, I will keep you posted on what we are going to do. My own childhood wasn't as I wanted it to be. I lived with my father and only visited my mother in another when ever I had a break from school. So I understand what you are saying by providing stablity for our children. I want to be there 100% for our children, I believe they deserve the best but I also want us, their parents, happy together. So with that in mind, I am going to look for places that offer couples counseling and hope that it fits into our schedules.
Lastly, to the anonymous comment, for that I would have to say that the man your daughter is pregnant by is somewhat how my boyfriend was when we first met. He is really insecure, so was my boyfriend. What my boyfriend tells me now is that I mothered him. He changed alot and doesn't think like he used to about me being with my friends or even about working. At first he didn't let me do anything but just sit in front of the t.v. with him. During our alone time he would tell me that his mother would say the most awful and degrading things to him and about him. I would talk to him and tell him I loved him because he does matter and he is a good father no matter what anyone says to him or how they say it. So with that in mind, again, he probably has had some kind of neglect in his own life that has made him insecure about what is real. Meaning, like in my boyfriend's situation, he loves his mother and took care of her, like he had to spoon feed her and miss school during his middle school years to take care of his mother. In his mind, he thought that his mother would appreciated that and would show him she loved him. BUT later she begin to say she hated him and he was a mistake. So he thought he was being lied to in a way, therefore trust was an issue with me for him. I was making up something that was in his childhood. I hope you understand what I am trying to say....
Again, I am so thankful I came upon finding his website and having my questions answered honestly. I will keep in contact.
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Hello again, thank you very much for the advice. I never considered couples counseling but now I want to try it.
As for Cary, your questions really hit me hard and got me to understand what I truly want out of working on our relationship and why I love him. I don't have all my answers but just those questions are forcing me to clear my mind and really answer them from my heart and not to just cough up an answer. Thank you so much again.
Also, to Susan, I will keep you posted on what we are going to do. My own childhood wasn't as I wanted it to be. I lived with my father and only visited my mother in another when ever I had a break from school. So I understand what you are saying by providing stablity for our children. I want to be there 100% for our children, I believe they deserve the best but I also want us, their parents, happy together. So with that in mind, I am going to look for places that offer couples counseling and hope that it fits into our schedules.
Lastly, to the anonymous comment, for that I would have to say that the man your daughter is pregnant by is somewhat how my boyfriend was when we first met. He is really insecure, so was my boyfriend. What my boyfriend tells me now is that I mothered him. He changed alot and doesn't think like he used to about me being with my friends or even about working. At first he didn't let me do anything but just sit in front of the t.v. with him. During our alone time he would tell me that his mother would say the most awful and degrading things to him and about him. I would talk to him and tell him I loved him because he does matter and he is a good father no matter what anyone says to him or how they say it. So with that in mind, again, he probably has had some kind of neglect in his own life that has made him insecure about what is real. Meaning, like in my boyfriend's situation, he loves his mother and took care of her, like he had to spoon feed her and miss school during his middle school years to take care of his mother. In his mind, he thought that his mother would appreciated that and would show him she loved him. BUT later she begin to say she hated him and he was a mistake. So he thought he was being lied to in a way, therefore trust was an issue with me for him. I was making up something that was in his childhood. I hope you understand what I am trying to say....
Again, I am so thankful I came upon finding his website and having my questions answered honestly. I will keep in contact.
March 28, 2010 - 11:51pmThis Comment
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