Good Question!
As far as I can remember in my friendships with men, most of them want more than just your friendship. It's difficult for us as women because we genuinely just want their friendship, meanwhile they are trying to figure out how to get into our pants or how to tell us that they want more than just our friendship. I did have some friendships with guys who were my best friends boyfriends and basically knew that anything further than a friendship was IMPOSSIBLE. Fortunately for me, no boundaries were ever attempted to be crossed with them. Other guys, however, that I met and thought could potentially be just friends with always seemed to either show interest, throw hints, or blatantly tell me that they were not interested in being friends only.
Unfortunately in your situation, I don't think there is a way around it once the unspoken has been said. Once a man has told you that he is interested in more and you are not, his feelings won't go away. The best he can do is understand and remain friends with you but both of you will know that he feels otherwise. Some men are willing to stay on the back-burner with hopes that one day you will change your mind-- though this isn't really fair to them unless you have made it perfectly clear that it will NEVER happen. Others, will not stay to hang around.
Based on my personal experience, very FEW men and women are able to function as friends only; Without either one of them ever developing feelings for each other. Sometimes it takes a few months and sometimes it takes years but eventually feelings will be exposed and a decision is left to be made.
Comment Reply
Melissa,
Good Question!
As far as I can remember in my friendships with men, most of them want more than just your friendship. It's difficult for us as women because we genuinely just want their friendship, meanwhile they are trying to figure out how to get into our pants or how to tell us that they want more than just our friendship. I did have some friendships with guys who were my best friends boyfriends and basically knew that anything further than a friendship was IMPOSSIBLE. Fortunately for me, no boundaries were ever attempted to be crossed with them. Other guys, however, that I met and thought could potentially be just friends with always seemed to either show interest, throw hints, or blatantly tell me that they were not interested in being friends only.
Unfortunately in your situation, I don't think there is a way around it once the unspoken has been said. Once a man has told you that he is interested in more and you are not, his feelings won't go away. The best he can do is understand and remain friends with you but both of you will know that he feels otherwise. Some men are willing to stay on the back-burner with hopes that one day you will change your mind-- though this isn't really fair to them unless you have made it perfectly clear that it will NEVER happen. Others, will not stay to hang around.
Based on my personal experience, very FEW men and women are able to function as friends only; Without either one of them ever developing feelings for each other. Sometimes it takes a few months and sometimes it takes years but eventually feelings will be exposed and a decision is left to be made.
March 28, 2010 - 1:20pmThis Comment
Reply