I'm sorry you are going through this. It is actually a problem for many couples, as you will see if you look through our site. Here is a link to one of the threads: https://www.empowher.com/community/ask/why-doesnt-my-boyfriend-want-have-sex-me-anymore?page=4
I have answered several questions about this myself in the past week, so hopefully that will assure you that you are not alone. Sex drive varies tremendously in different people, male or female. Your husband may be serious when he says he doesn't care if he ever has sex. It probably has nothing to do with you at all. He may have a physical or emotional issue that prevents him from being interested in sex, or he may just be one of those people who doesn't need sex. Some people just don't need it at all.
Physically, low testosterone is just one of many reasons a man's sex drive can be non-existent. Thyroid can cause issues as well. The first thing I would do is ask that he get a physical exam and be sure the doctor or nurse practitioner is aware of the sex issue. That will steer them toward what blood work to order, and will be helpful if he is having other symptoms such as fatigue and forgetfulness.
It may be that he has an emotional issue related to sex. Maybe he is afraid, or thinks it is bad...there are about as many different emotional sex issues as there are people. If he checks out physically, talk about why he isn't interested, and listen closely to his answers. If he refuses to talk, you might consider couples counseling because in all honesty, this is a difficult problem and it can have a dramatic effect on your relationship.
Just remember: It probably has nothing to do with you. You are just witnessing his problem. So help him figure out what it is, and go from there. Read our threads here and you will see how many other people are in your situation. Good luck.
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Hi Nichole-
I'm sorry you are going through this. It is actually a problem for many couples, as you will see if you look through our site. Here is a link to one of the threads: https://www.empowher.com/community/ask/why-doesnt-my-boyfriend-want-have-sex-me-anymore?page=4
I have answered several questions about this myself in the past week, so hopefully that will assure you that you are not alone. Sex drive varies tremendously in different people, male or female. Your husband may be serious when he says he doesn't care if he ever has sex. It probably has nothing to do with you at all. He may have a physical or emotional issue that prevents him from being interested in sex, or he may just be one of those people who doesn't need sex. Some people just don't need it at all.
Physically, low testosterone is just one of many reasons a man's sex drive can be non-existent. Thyroid can cause issues as well. The first thing I would do is ask that he get a physical exam and be sure the doctor or nurse practitioner is aware of the sex issue. That will steer them toward what blood work to order, and will be helpful if he is having other symptoms such as fatigue and forgetfulness.
It may be that he has an emotional issue related to sex. Maybe he is afraid, or thinks it is bad...there are about as many different emotional sex issues as there are people. If he checks out physically, talk about why he isn't interested, and listen closely to his answers. If he refuses to talk, you might consider couples counseling because in all honesty, this is a difficult problem and it can have a dramatic effect on your relationship.
Just remember: It probably has nothing to do with you. You are just witnessing his problem. So help him figure out what it is, and go from there. Read our threads here and you will see how many other people are in your situation. Good luck.
March 29, 2010 - 6:30amThis Comment
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