Dear Tiff 2010,
Thanks so much for your comment, it was really nice to hear back from someone who is going through the same thing. I really feel your pain and wow moving to South Africa for your man? Thats a big change. Im so sorry you are going through this I know how terrible of a feeling it is and how much it lowers your self esteem. After I posted this comment things had only gotten worse, at that point we were going on 3 weeks without sex and 3 weeks turned into 3 months. My boyfriend and I at this point sat down and had a talk and he told me that he figured out that he felt a little resentment towards me because b4 when we would have sex he would turn porn on, which im fine with every once in awhile but he was doing it every single time. This made me feel like he needed these girls in the porns to turn him on and that I wasnt enough so I asked him not to do it so much. He told me that subconciously he resented me for this and that I made him feel dirty or like he was doing something wrong just by doing what he likes during sex. He also told me that I was more than enough to turn him on and that wasnt it, He said that porn has just always been apart of sex for him and that I made him feel bad for that. So we had a long talk, got that out of the way and we did start having sex more regularly again. It was great, the change was really awesome I felt so much happier again. It has died down some since then, it kinda goes back and forth sometimes we will go a couple weeks without sex. Right now we are going on three weeks again without sex which is the longest we have gone since we had a big problem with it but it isnt bothering me as much I think because we are both super stressed right now. However my 21st bday was around three weeks ago and that week we had sex 3 times. So it just depends, some weeks are better then others and I think his age does have a factor in it. He is alot older and his sex drive is dwindeling. You are in the same case, your man is a decent amount older then you as well, so that may be a main factor. As far as advice goes I would say try and find out it there is some subconcious reason he isnt interested in sex. He may not even realize the reason, so just ask him to really think about anything that may be bothering him. I mean that was the situation for me and we still arent having as much sex as I would like but it is definitely an impovement from 3 months and if ur at 2 months right now oh man do I know how crazy you are going right now. Just hang in there, try and figure out the root of the problem, talk about it with him and hopefully you will see an improvement.
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Dear Tiff 2010,
Thanks so much for your comment, it was really nice to hear back from someone who is going through the same thing. I really feel your pain and wow moving to South Africa for your man? Thats a big change. Im so sorry you are going through this I know how terrible of a feeling it is and how much it lowers your self esteem. After I posted this comment things had only gotten worse, at that point we were going on 3 weeks without sex and 3 weeks turned into 3 months. My boyfriend and I at this point sat down and had a talk and he told me that he figured out that he felt a little resentment towards me because b4 when we would have sex he would turn porn on, which im fine with every once in awhile but he was doing it every single time. This made me feel like he needed these girls in the porns to turn him on and that I wasnt enough so I asked him not to do it so much. He told me that subconciously he resented me for this and that I made him feel dirty or like he was doing something wrong just by doing what he likes during sex. He also told me that I was more than enough to turn him on and that wasnt it, He said that porn has just always been apart of sex for him and that I made him feel bad for that. So we had a long talk, got that out of the way and we did start having sex more regularly again. It was great, the change was really awesome I felt so much happier again. It has died down some since then, it kinda goes back and forth sometimes we will go a couple weeks without sex. Right now we are going on three weeks again without sex which is the longest we have gone since we had a big problem with it but it isnt bothering me as much I think because we are both super stressed right now. However my 21st bday was around three weeks ago and that week we had sex 3 times. So it just depends, some weeks are better then others and I think his age does have a factor in it. He is alot older and his sex drive is dwindeling. You are in the same case, your man is a decent amount older then you as well, so that may be a main factor. As far as advice goes I would say try and find out it there is some subconcious reason he isnt interested in sex. He may not even realize the reason, so just ask him to really think about anything that may be bothering him. I mean that was the situation for me and we still arent having as much sex as I would like but it is definitely an impovement from 3 months and if ur at 2 months right now oh man do I know how crazy you are going right now. Just hang in there, try and figure out the root of the problem, talk about it with him and hopefully you will see an improvement.
I wish you all the best.
November 22, 2010 - 11:31amThis Comment
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