I have definitely thought of this of course however there is something that is telling me we belong together, it is almost a fairy tale story. I know every woman can say that about when they met their boyfriends but it's true, I lived in Florida and him in South Africa, we work for the same company and I do all the reporting and data for SA. We met first time through video conference and a week later he came to FL for training, when we met it was instantaneous, I was even in a relationship of 3 years when I met my BF and I couldn't get him out of my mind, as much as I resisted I was drawn to his zest for life, I left my ex and my BF and I continued a long distance relationship for nearly 2 years. I moved to SA to be with him in Feb of this year. There are other factors I must take into consideration and I constantly have to remind myself of. He is a straight shooter and has no issues telling me or anyone for that matter exactly what is on his mind so I know without a doubt he loves me. A few things to ponder is 1) he has been a bachelor now for the last 15 years or more, he was married once and divorced. Now after 15 years of loneliness and no one but himself to worry about he now has a finance with a child that is not his (however he treats her as his own). He also has never taken care of a child let alone been around children much. 2) work is very stressful for him and he is deeply involved in work, we work for the same company and I know what he deals with and goes through including late nights and long hours 24/7, we work Forensics in Africa so you can imagine the stress and work load that entails. 3) emotional he is a bit jaded and withdrawn, he is an ex street cop in SA and I can't even fathom half the things he has been through, though I have heard some and it's enough to make anyone withdrawn. plus he's had his heart broken alot and he is totally alone, no family left. 4) The times we spent together and the amazing sex life we had was all vacation couple and we didn't have everyday life nagging us so all we had was each other. it's hard to think of these things in context and I constantly need to remind and remind myself of these factors. It's tough too I went from a totally independent single mom on my own to moving to a new country without my friend circle and own life. I am still adapting to life here and it's trying on us both. It's a very complicated situation and very confusing and frustrating and then you add cultural differences and age gap in the mix and it becomes more frustrating. It's hard, he says he is attracted to me and he knows this is an issue but it feels like nothing is being done and I am afraid to even initiate because I will get shot down. I hate to pressure him as he deals with enough daily at work but GRRRR I just need to feel that toe curly butterflies we use to have. Does this all make sense or do I sound totally crazy?
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I have definitely thought of this of course however there is something that is telling me we belong together, it is almost a fairy tale story. I know every woman can say that about when they met their boyfriends but it's true, I lived in Florida and him in South Africa, we work for the same company and I do all the reporting and data for SA. We met first time through video conference and a week later he came to FL for training, when we met it was instantaneous, I was even in a relationship of 3 years when I met my BF and I couldn't get him out of my mind, as much as I resisted I was drawn to his zest for life, I left my ex and my BF and I continued a long distance relationship for nearly 2 years. I moved to SA to be with him in Feb of this year. There are other factors I must take into consideration and I constantly have to remind myself of. He is a straight shooter and has no issues telling me or anyone for that matter exactly what is on his mind so I know without a doubt he loves me. A few things to ponder is 1) he has been a bachelor now for the last 15 years or more, he was married once and divorced. Now after 15 years of loneliness and no one but himself to worry about he now has a finance with a child that is not his (however he treats her as his own). He also has never taken care of a child let alone been around children much. 2) work is very stressful for him and he is deeply involved in work, we work for the same company and I know what he deals with and goes through including late nights and long hours 24/7, we work Forensics in Africa so you can imagine the stress and work load that entails. 3) emotional he is a bit jaded and withdrawn, he is an ex street cop in SA and I can't even fathom half the things he has been through, though I have heard some and it's enough to make anyone withdrawn. plus he's had his heart broken alot and he is totally alone, no family left. 4) The times we spent together and the amazing sex life we had was all vacation couple and we didn't have everyday life nagging us so all we had was each other. it's hard to think of these things in context and I constantly need to remind and remind myself of these factors. It's tough too I went from a totally independent single mom on my own to moving to a new country without my friend circle and own life. I am still adapting to life here and it's trying on us both. It's a very complicated situation and very confusing and frustrating and then you add cultural differences and age gap in the mix and it becomes more frustrating. It's hard, he says he is attracted to me and he knows this is an issue but it feels like nothing is being done and I am afraid to even initiate because I will get shot down. I hate to pressure him as he deals with enough daily at work but GRRRR I just need to feel that toe curly butterflies we use to have. Does this all make sense or do I sound totally crazy?
November 23, 2010 - 2:45pmThis Comment
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