Thanks for answering my email...I am not sure if the therapist was a CBT or not....I didnt go very long cause I couldnt afford it on a fixed income and medicare which they gave me after 2 years of beng on disability doesnt cover but 50 percent....
I feel myself getting in a place I dont like....its scarey and hard to exxplain...but I feel like I dont live anymore or that I live differently than the rest of the world....its like I am all alone....like I said living in a bubble watching the world go by...
I am only 53 years old and 49 when all this started to happen to me...it all started with dizziness and to this day I still have it....i suffer everyday with it and pain in my head and neck and shoulders...I have had 2 MRI's to rule out MS and Lupus and blood work and ENT testing which the doctor said I had had some trauma to my right ear but that it shouldnt make me dizzy everyday...
My ears ring all the time now an stop up but everytime I get them checked out they say they are fine....every test I take its always fine , and yes I am grateful for that but also want to know what is happening to me....even my eye back in 2006 started twitcing and even my customers could see it....it never would stop...it drove me about crazy...I went to the eye dr and they said it was probably just stress but it went on for over 6 months...I couldnt stand it any longer so I went to a surgeon Opt. and he called it this long name and said the only way for it to stop was to do BOTOX....well that scared me to death but after 6 months I decided to do it..
Well I had it done all the time still working and having dizzy spells and nausea and headaches everyday....they stuck me 2 times in the top lid and 2 times in the bottom lid...well the next morning when I got up it had stopped...I was so happy at least that was taken care of or so I thought....then when I was at work my pharmacist said did you know your eye is not closing....I said no....I went and looked in the mirror and my eye was wide open and would not shut or blink at all....
I called and went back to the dr who did the botox and he said well I probably gave you to much it will be about 3 to 4 weeks and then it will close...well then my other eye was getting infected because of using it to much I guess....I had pus coming out of it and it was glued shut every morning....so I went back to him again and of course by the time I would go it would be cleared up as the day went on....so all the time this is freaking me out and my anxiety was getting so bad I felt like I was going to faint at times...I finally took a leave of absents cause I was so sick...
I lost 40 pounds in the first month of being out sick and was so depressed I could hardly get around...I live alone which did not help but thats the way it goes after a divorce....they started sending me to pychiatrist and they tried me on everything....paxil,zoloft,celexa,lexapro,elavil,prozac,effexor,
nortriplyine,trazadone,you name it I have tried it...the only thing I am on right now is klonipin and I am taking .25mg of that 3 times daily and have been for 4 years...it doesnt even work any longer and I have tried to increase it and get very nauseous but I have been nauseous for years so I dont know if its that or not...but I know with that drug its addictive and the more you take the more your body will need...so I just stay where I am even though its not working....crazy...huh...I know....well my eye finally stopped twitching after 4 MONTHS...it took it that long to finally shut....I think I had a nervous breakdown and havent been back to work since 2006...
I had to quit and went out on disability which I have been living on for 3 years now....thank the good Lord he made a way and provided me with income or I would have lost everything....
Diane as the years have gone by I am getting worse and worse and honestly at times I feel like something is so wrong with me that they arent seeing it....I dont ever want to leave the house but I make myself go to the grocery store around the corner from me and even that is a task for me....the fatigue is so bad and I get so weak from the anxiety....its like I am getting a work out without working out....I only weigh 128 pounds now and 4 years ago I was at about 160....I havent gained much back in the 4 years but I do eat but I think my anxiety level is so high it just burns the calories up...
I will tell you one more thing then I will shut up cause I could go on and on with my problem but last week my brother took me to the dentist for the first time in 10 years...OMG...I know....but I have been so scared to go but I have teeth hurting and knew I had to go....I was so tensed up in his office and my anxiety was so bad that it took a toll on me for the whole week....I couldnt hardly move I hurt so bad all over....I have got to go this coming Monday for a 3 hour work to be done on 2 of my teeth....my brother will be there for me but I am so ready to cancel cause of what I am going to have to go thru....they said they will sedate me but I am not sure if it will make me sleepy or not....its a pill called Halcion for sleep but sometimes those type drugs work the opposite on me, but never the less I have got to get it done and then I have 2 more visits after that....I just hope I can make it thru it all....
My daughter called me last night and her and her finace have called it off....so I was all stressed about that....its every thing in my life just puts me over the edge and my family cant really understand that but its all I think about all day and dwell on...
I would like the support groups if they will help but I dont want to really get up with a group of people that only talk like I am now and they cant find any help either cause that will just make me feel more discouraged...you know what I mean...
I dont have any thing right now in my life that brings me plesasure and that is so sad cause if you would have known me 4 years ago I was so bubbly and happy and the clown at work....I cut up and made everyone laugh, but I dont know where that person is any longer....I feel like I have lost my identity and I no longer exist...I know this all sounds crazy but its the way I feel and getting worse all the time....I pray alot and read my Bible when my eyes and head will let me from the dizziness....
I know you didnt expect a book but like I said its been a long journey for me and I havent even touched the surface with what I have been thru with doctors and test and all....I will go for now Diane and I hope I didnt bore you to badly with all this...
I would love to hear back from you if you have anymore suggestions but I know you really probably dont know what else to tell me...are you on any medications at all? I wish I could find something I could tolerate but so far I havent....well I hope you have a blessed day and hope to chat with you again soon.....Karen
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Diane,
Thanks for answering my email...I am not sure if the therapist was a CBT or not....I didnt go very long cause I couldnt afford it on a fixed income and medicare which they gave me after 2 years of beng on disability doesnt cover but 50 percent....
I feel myself getting in a place I dont like....its scarey and hard to exxplain...but I feel like I dont live anymore or that I live differently than the rest of the world....its like I am all alone....like I said living in a bubble watching the world go by...
I am only 53 years old and 49 when all this started to happen to me...it all started with dizziness and to this day I still have it....i suffer everyday with it and pain in my head and neck and shoulders...I have had 2 MRI's to rule out MS and Lupus and blood work and ENT testing which the doctor said I had had some trauma to my right ear but that it shouldnt make me dizzy everyday...
My ears ring all the time now an stop up but everytime I get them checked out they say they are fine....every test I take its always fine , and yes I am grateful for that but also want to know what is happening to me....even my eye back in 2006 started twitcing and even my customers could see it....it never would stop...it drove me about crazy...I went to the eye dr and they said it was probably just stress but it went on for over 6 months...I couldnt stand it any longer so I went to a surgeon Opt. and he called it this long name and said the only way for it to stop was to do BOTOX....well that scared me to death but after 6 months I decided to do it..
Well I had it done all the time still working and having dizzy spells and nausea and headaches everyday....they stuck me 2 times in the top lid and 2 times in the bottom lid...well the next morning when I got up it had stopped...I was so happy at least that was taken care of or so I thought....then when I was at work my pharmacist said did you know your eye is not closing....I said no....I went and looked in the mirror and my eye was wide open and would not shut or blink at all....
I called and went back to the dr who did the botox and he said well I probably gave you to much it will be about 3 to 4 weeks and then it will close...well then my other eye was getting infected because of using it to much I guess....I had pus coming out of it and it was glued shut every morning....so I went back to him again and of course by the time I would go it would be cleared up as the day went on....so all the time this is freaking me out and my anxiety was getting so bad I felt like I was going to faint at times...I finally took a leave of absents cause I was so sick...
I lost 40 pounds in the first month of being out sick and was so depressed I could hardly get around...I live alone which did not help but thats the way it goes after a divorce....they started sending me to pychiatrist and they tried me on everything....paxil,zoloft,celexa,lexapro,elavil,prozac,effexor,
nortriplyine,trazadone,you name it I have tried it...the only thing I am on right now is klonipin and I am taking .25mg of that 3 times daily and have been for 4 years...it doesnt even work any longer and I have tried to increase it and get very nauseous but I have been nauseous for years so I dont know if its that or not...but I know with that drug its addictive and the more you take the more your body will need...so I just stay where I am even though its not working....crazy...huh...I know....well my eye finally stopped twitching after 4 MONTHS...it took it that long to finally shut....I think I had a nervous breakdown and havent been back to work since 2006...
I had to quit and went out on disability which I have been living on for 3 years now....thank the good Lord he made a way and provided me with income or I would have lost everything....
Diane as the years have gone by I am getting worse and worse and honestly at times I feel like something is so wrong with me that they arent seeing it....I dont ever want to leave the house but I make myself go to the grocery store around the corner from me and even that is a task for me....the fatigue is so bad and I get so weak from the anxiety....its like I am getting a work out without working out....I only weigh 128 pounds now and 4 years ago I was at about 160....I havent gained much back in the 4 years but I do eat but I think my anxiety level is so high it just burns the calories up...
I will tell you one more thing then I will shut up cause I could go on and on with my problem but last week my brother took me to the dentist for the first time in 10 years...OMG...I know....but I have been so scared to go but I have teeth hurting and knew I had to go....I was so tensed up in his office and my anxiety was so bad that it took a toll on me for the whole week....I couldnt hardly move I hurt so bad all over....I have got to go this coming Monday for a 3 hour work to be done on 2 of my teeth....my brother will be there for me but I am so ready to cancel cause of what I am going to have to go thru....they said they will sedate me but I am not sure if it will make me sleepy or not....its a pill called Halcion for sleep but sometimes those type drugs work the opposite on me, but never the less I have got to get it done and then I have 2 more visits after that....I just hope I can make it thru it all....
My daughter called me last night and her and her finace have called it off....so I was all stressed about that....its every thing in my life just puts me over the edge and my family cant really understand that but its all I think about all day and dwell on...
I would like the support groups if they will help but I dont want to really get up with a group of people that only talk like I am now and they cant find any help either cause that will just make me feel more discouraged...you know what I mean...
I dont have any thing right now in my life that brings me plesasure and that is so sad cause if you would have known me 4 years ago I was so bubbly and happy and the clown at work....I cut up and made everyone laugh, but I dont know where that person is any longer....I feel like I have lost my identity and I no longer exist...I know this all sounds crazy but its the way I feel and getting worse all the time....I pray alot and read my Bible when my eyes and head will let me from the dizziness....
I know you didnt expect a book but like I said its been a long journey for me and I havent even touched the surface with what I have been thru with doctors and test and all....I will go for now Diane and I hope I didnt bore you to badly with all this...
I would love to hear back from you if you have anymore suggestions but I know you really probably dont know what else to tell me...are you on any medications at all? I wish I could find something I could tolerate but so far I havent....well I hope you have a blessed day and hope to chat with you again soon.....Karen
June 1, 2010 - 7:07amThis Comment
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