Wow. I thought I was the only woman in the world feeling this way. It makes me sad that im not the only one going through this but I now feel less alone. My situation is the same as many yet the background is quite different from anything else I've read here so far so I'm still confused about how he's really feeling. First of all we are both now 41. We met a year and a half ago. I was a waitress and he was a mechanic next door and all the guys would come over n get drinks throughout the day. I saw him and love at first sight for me. Totally my type. Tattoos. Blue eyes. Sigh lol. We start talking more and I find out he's been talking to a girl he met at his son's daycare. 24 year old skinny petite redhead and that's HIS type. Now I'm 41 as I said but people rarely guess I'm over 25. Idk. Good genes? I've quite often been told I'm beautiful gorgeous sexy. Attention from men 16 to 90 isn't a problem. Filthy rich or crackheads. And I'm in great shape. Tallish at 5'7". 130 lbs nice b cup great butt. Very long thick brown hair. Im not trying to sound conceited cause I'm not. But as I said. He likes tiny young redheads so who cares how hot 98% of the rest of the population thinks I am. But I digress. So hes talking to the redhead. But not dating her. We end up having a couple flings. Then he does start dating her and of course I'm crushed but dont want him to know. They break up after a month or so and I don't think he had hardly left her driveway and he's calling me. Of course I'm on a date lol. So the next day on we've been together ever since. Now the craziness begins. I move out of the house im staying at with this old rich guy cause he doesnt like me having a bf. Start staying in hotels and eventually my waitressing job isn't covering it. So I start escorting which I've done in the past. And at first I dont tell him. Then we both start smoking meth. And if youre gonna get judgy please keep it to yourself. You dont know me or my regrets. Anyways eventually he quits his job n starts staying with me full time and I quit my job so now he knows and condones it. Months go by in a drug induced blur and finally we find a house to rent and we both agree the escorting has to stop. It does. Backtracking we had both gotten arrested (imagine that) and he ends up on drug offender probation curfew all that stuff. Has to live in this county can't transfer. I am a multiple convicted felon (not proud just saying) with no family in the state. So we're both kinda stuck where we're at. But both being clean we've never been happier or more in love. I think. I do everything for him. Is that why he stays?? I kiss his ass. But no sex now. Never. He rejects me makes excuses. At first he said it was because of the escorting but we agreed to drop the past and start over. He said he couldn't lose me. But now I wonder. Is it cause we're not high anymore? Cause if you don't know and I hope u don't but there's nothing like sex on meth. Nobody has ever made me feel as insecure as he has. He constantly brings up 3somes and im considering it cause I love him and dont wanna lose him but the thought of him with someone else kills me. Oh I forgot to mention how when we first got together he'd hit on all the other waitresses and all my friends just trying to find one for a threesome. I get it. He's 41 and never had one. I just dont know what to do. Im so happy with my life in general now finally for the first time in a long time but this feeling if inadequacy is foreign to me and I hate it! I just dont know what to do. Theres so much more i could go on about but this is so long already im so sorry. Ugh. Thanks for letting me vent and know im not completely alone.
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Wow. I thought I was the only woman in the world feeling this way. It makes me sad that im not the only one going through this but I now feel less alone. My situation is the same as many yet the background is quite different from anything else I've read here so far so I'm still confused about how he's really feeling. First of all we are both now 41. We met a year and a half ago. I was a waitress and he was a mechanic next door and all the guys would come over n get drinks throughout the day. I saw him and love at first sight for me. Totally my type. Tattoos. Blue eyes. Sigh lol. We start talking more and I find out he's been talking to a girl he met at his son's daycare. 24 year old skinny petite redhead and that's HIS type. Now I'm 41 as I said but people rarely guess I'm over 25. Idk. Good genes? I've quite often been told I'm beautiful gorgeous sexy. Attention from men 16 to 90 isn't a problem. Filthy rich or crackheads. And I'm in great shape. Tallish at 5'7". 130 lbs nice b cup great butt. Very long thick brown hair. Im not trying to sound conceited cause I'm not. But as I said. He likes tiny young redheads so who cares how hot 98% of the rest of the population thinks I am. But I digress. So hes talking to the redhead. But not dating her. We end up having a couple flings. Then he does start dating her and of course I'm crushed but dont want him to know. They break up after a month or so and I don't think he had hardly left her driveway and he's calling me. Of course I'm on a date lol. So the next day on we've been together ever since. Now the craziness begins. I move out of the house im staying at with this old rich guy cause he doesnt like me having a bf. Start staying in hotels and eventually my waitressing job isn't covering it. So I start escorting which I've done in the past. And at first I dont tell him. Then we both start smoking meth. And if youre gonna get judgy please keep it to yourself. You dont know me or my regrets. Anyways eventually he quits his job n starts staying with me full time and I quit my job so now he knows and condones it. Months go by in a drug induced blur and finally we find a house to rent and we both agree the escorting has to stop. It does. Backtracking we had both gotten arrested (imagine that) and he ends up on drug offender probation curfew all that stuff. Has to live in this county can't transfer. I am a multiple convicted felon (not proud just saying) with no family in the state. So we're both kinda stuck where we're at. But both being clean we've never been happier or more in love. I think. I do everything for him. Is that why he stays?? I kiss his ass. But no sex now. Never. He rejects me makes excuses. At first he said it was because of the escorting but we agreed to drop the past and start over. He said he couldn't lose me. But now I wonder. Is it cause we're not high anymore? Cause if you don't know and I hope u don't but there's nothing like sex on meth. Nobody has ever made me feel as insecure as he has. He constantly brings up 3somes and im considering it cause I love him and dont wanna lose him but the thought of him with someone else kills me. Oh I forgot to mention how when we first got together he'd hit on all the other waitresses and all my friends just trying to find one for a threesome. I get it. He's 41 and never had one. I just dont know what to do. Im so happy with my life in general now finally for the first time in a long time but this feeling if inadequacy is foreign to me and I hate it! I just dont know what to do. Theres so much more i could go on about but this is so long already im so sorry. Ugh. Thanks for letting me vent and know im not completely alone.
November 4, 2016 - 8:01pmThis Comment
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