I have recently run into the same situation with my boyfriend of 8 months. I found out that he looked at porn early on in our relationship and was extremely upset by it, and I let him know. We had a long discussion about it and I thought he understood me. Ends up, after months and months of our relationship he was still looking at it even though he knew how much it hurt me and inhibited me from being intimate with him. He was lying to my face about it. When I found scant evidence of it on his browser's history I was livid. I told him to leave and insisted that he admit that he was leaving for porn. That he was choosing PORN over me. He didn't want to admit it and we had a rough few weeks before he agreed that what we could have together is worth so much more. He proposed the idea to let me have the password to his computer, to set up filtering software, and to delete anything and everything that might be saved.
Honestly, even with all of these protective measures and his assurance that he doesn't want it in his life anymore, I'm still hesitant. The hurt I feel from being lied to about this, over and over again goes so deep. If this were a problem I thought was concentrated on one guy, I would have left him to drift away in his imaginary, lonely sex life. What I'm afraid is the reality though, is that that this is a problem with 99.9% of males over the age of 12.
Does anyone, ANYONE, have any stories of males who abstain from porn and realize it's damaging effects on an intimate sex life? PLEASE share them for the good of every woman who's had to share a bedroom with any naked woman who makes her way in front of a video camera.
Comment Reply
I have recently run into the same situation with my boyfriend of 8 months. I found out that he looked at porn early on in our relationship and was extremely upset by it, and I let him know. We had a long discussion about it and I thought he understood me. Ends up, after months and months of our relationship he was still looking at it even though he knew how much it hurt me and inhibited me from being intimate with him. He was lying to my face about it. When I found scant evidence of it on his browser's history I was livid. I told him to leave and insisted that he admit that he was leaving for porn. That he was choosing PORN over me. He didn't want to admit it and we had a rough few weeks before he agreed that what we could have together is worth so much more. He proposed the idea to let me have the password to his computer, to set up filtering software, and to delete anything and everything that might be saved.
Honestly, even with all of these protective measures and his assurance that he doesn't want it in his life anymore, I'm still hesitant. The hurt I feel from being lied to about this, over and over again goes so deep. If this were a problem I thought was concentrated on one guy, I would have left him to drift away in his imaginary, lonely sex life. What I'm afraid is the reality though, is that that this is a problem with 99.9% of males over the age of 12.
Does anyone, ANYONE, have any stories of males who abstain from porn and realize it's damaging effects on an intimate sex life? PLEASE share them for the good of every woman who's had to share a bedroom with any naked woman who makes her way in front of a video camera.
June 12, 2010 - 10:41amThis Comment
Reply