Hey guys!
Thank you so much for your input... I have really been thinking about the part where you both said about the scars remaining for the passed couple days, and your right. To be honest, we have been really great ever since the initial "break up." I really think that both of us have changed a lot, which has bettered the relationship in sooo many ways. I feel like we have become different people together, and that's what makes us so happy. However, I am really starting to realize how much bad memories can creep up on you. Ever since we decided to try again, I somehow managed to push all of that in the back of my mind so that we could start over, with a fresh clean slate so that fights couldn't be started from previous events, but I am now finding that harder and harder. I find myself all the time now laying in bed thinking about certain things that he did in the past that literally tore me to pieces, and honestly I think it hurts me more now to think about them. I really do want to block all of it out, because I know bringing up the past is going to ruin what we have built now, but I can't help but want to talk about it. He on the other hand strongly wants to forget about all of the bad times that we had, and enjoy our new bond that we've created, so trying to tell him how I feel about those events is like talking to a brick wall. I don't know why it is all creeping up on me now tho? Is it because I am becoming terrified that I'll be heart broken again? or maybe that I am starting to notice signs again? I have no idea.. but it is starting to turn me back into the hurt, unhappy girl that I used to be in our "old relationship" and I really don't want to be that girl again. I feel like I am seeing it all worse now because I am comparing it to what we have now, and it is making me angry that I went through an entire year of pretty much hell...when all along, it could have been more like what we have now. I just seriously don't know if these scars will ever fade, and I don't know what to do about it! I really wish I could forgive and forget..but the thought of it right now seems impossible, but I also really don't want to lose what we have now.. what do I do?
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Hey guys!
August 29, 2010 - 9:18pmThank you so much for your input... I have really been thinking about the part where you both said about the scars remaining for the passed couple days, and your right. To be honest, we have been really great ever since the initial "break up." I really think that both of us have changed a lot, which has bettered the relationship in sooo many ways. I feel like we have become different people together, and that's what makes us so happy. However, I am really starting to realize how much bad memories can creep up on you. Ever since we decided to try again, I somehow managed to push all of that in the back of my mind so that we could start over, with a fresh clean slate so that fights couldn't be started from previous events, but I am now finding that harder and harder. I find myself all the time now laying in bed thinking about certain things that he did in the past that literally tore me to pieces, and honestly I think it hurts me more now to think about them. I really do want to block all of it out, because I know bringing up the past is going to ruin what we have built now, but I can't help but want to talk about it. He on the other hand strongly wants to forget about all of the bad times that we had, and enjoy our new bond that we've created, so trying to tell him how I feel about those events is like talking to a brick wall. I don't know why it is all creeping up on me now tho? Is it because I am becoming terrified that I'll be heart broken again? or maybe that I am starting to notice signs again? I have no idea.. but it is starting to turn me back into the hurt, unhappy girl that I used to be in our "old relationship" and I really don't want to be that girl again. I feel like I am seeing it all worse now because I am comparing it to what we have now, and it is making me angry that I went through an entire year of pretty much hell...when all along, it could have been more like what we have now. I just seriously don't know if these scars will ever fade, and I don't know what to do about it! I really wish I could forgive and forget..but the thought of it right now seems impossible, but I also really don't want to lose what we have now.. what do I do?
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