Hi, after going through what everyone is describing for the past year and half with my new husband, I wanted to share a bit of my experience. While this is a new possibility, meaning my husband is undiagnosed, the more I read, the more I believe he does have AS. This was brought up as a possibility with my therapist, whom I sought after an incredibly difficult first year of marriage and disappointing 1st anniversary.
Pre marriage and living together we had lots of laughs and fun. He supported me through a difficult times and I knew that while the way he showed me love wasn't exactly how I wanted it, I knew he loved me. In fact, so did everyone and it was clear he adored me. And vice versa.
After 3 years we moved in together. We started to have some explosive "discussions" where I couldn't get a word in edgewise and his volume was up. I chalked it up to adjusting to living together. They were infrequent enough it didn't concern me. The next year we got engaged. Shortly there after I said something teasingly and he exploded complete with name calling. It was out of left field. I could understand how what I said could be misconstrued so I let it go. Again, not frequent.
We got married Oct. 2013 and within 3 months, his behavior had really changed. Today, I can clearly say that my husband is very literal, doesn't understand innuendo, teasing and very often misunderstands my facial expressions. I'm lonely, crave romance and affection and was so tired of the explosions and yelling (him at me) that I left him for 2 weeks without notice hoping it would shock him into realizing something's got to give. As a result he agreed to go to counseling however we haven't started yet.
He's very successful. Vice President at a Fortune 100 company. But that's all he can handle.
Had I known, I may not have chosen this. However, had he known, we may have been able to work together.
I guess my point is, to everyone's point, they do change after marriage. They relax and just want to be themselves. My husband has the entire basement as his domain. I live in the rest of the house.
I'm realizing that everything is going to be on my shoulders and I'm overwhelmed. And btw, he has a failed first marriage where his ex says pretty much the same thing as I said above.
I don't know what our outcome will be.
Thanks for reading and I'm glad I found this site...in a way. Some of what I'm reading is hard to take in.
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Hi, after going through what everyone is describing for the past year and half with my new husband, I wanted to share a bit of my experience. While this is a new possibility, meaning my husband is undiagnosed, the more I read, the more I believe he does have AS. This was brought up as a possibility with my therapist, whom I sought after an incredibly difficult first year of marriage and disappointing 1st anniversary.
Pre marriage and living together we had lots of laughs and fun. He supported me through a difficult times and I knew that while the way he showed me love wasn't exactly how I wanted it, I knew he loved me. In fact, so did everyone and it was clear he adored me. And vice versa.
After 3 years we moved in together. We started to have some explosive "discussions" where I couldn't get a word in edgewise and his volume was up. I chalked it up to adjusting to living together. They were infrequent enough it didn't concern me. The next year we got engaged. Shortly there after I said something teasingly and he exploded complete with name calling. It was out of left field. I could understand how what I said could be misconstrued so I let it go. Again, not frequent.
We got married Oct. 2013 and within 3 months, his behavior had really changed. Today, I can clearly say that my husband is very literal, doesn't understand innuendo, teasing and very often misunderstands my facial expressions. I'm lonely, crave romance and affection and was so tired of the explosions and yelling (him at me) that I left him for 2 weeks without notice hoping it would shock him into realizing something's got to give. As a result he agreed to go to counseling however we haven't started yet.
He's very successful. Vice President at a Fortune 100 company. But that's all he can handle.
Had I known, I may not have chosen this. However, had he known, we may have been able to work together.
I guess my point is, to everyone's point, they do change after marriage. They relax and just want to be themselves. My husband has the entire basement as his domain. I live in the rest of the house.
I'm realizing that everything is going to be on my shoulders and I'm overwhelmed. And btw, he has a failed first marriage where his ex says pretty much the same thing as I said above.
I don't know what our outcome will be.
Thanks for reading and I'm glad I found this site...in a way. Some of what I'm reading is hard to take in.
March 15, 2015 - 6:45amThis Comment
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