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Thank you for the response. i am just so hurt right now, and i dont know how to bring all this up after we were "ok" without it turning into another fight. i have told him that i might consider something like the swingers thing or maybe 3some later down the road when i felt very secure in our relationship. to me this was after we were married, not after nearly 1 year of a relationship. i just dont know if i can sort through this issue without me wanting to walk out on him because he is so adamant that i am not initiating anything anymore, and therefore he has to turn to porn to get off; what if it this turns into him needing another girl??? i guess i will have to wait and see; he will be home in 20minutes...wish me luck, and ill update you later today or tomorrow :-/