I'm going to be very direct with you, because I think you need to hear it. Your new life with your boyfriend is a result of the two of you having an extramarital affair. You say you've both been serial cheaters in the past, so honestly, it is not surprising that one or both of you would continue that kind of behavior. Think of it this way: If you meet someone in a bar, you likely have met someone who drinks, yes? When you are with someone from an extramarital affair, you are with someone who is okay with extramarital affairs.
It sounds like your life is starting to implode. I suggest you begin some kind of therapy or counseling. You clearly have issues to work out as you stated, and it sounds like you have left a relationship you didn't like for one that is probably not going to work if you expect monogamy. Ideally, this would be a good time for you to live by yourself and be self-reliant until you can straighten your head out. I don't know if you are financially able to do that, but even if you aren't you can find low cost counseling and you really could use it.
You don't mention your children at all. Do you have a relationship with them? Maybe if you can focus on them or your relationship with them it will take some of the pressure off of constantly thinking about the mess your new relationship has become. Focus on something positive, whatever it is, get some help, and avoid any new romantic entanglements until you can get your head straight.
I know this is a very hard road, and it is really demoralizing when you thought you were about to start a new happy life and it isn't working out. But you can control how you react to this situation. Hold your head up, get some help, and refuse to let this man or any other take advantage of you. Good luck to you.
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Hi MiaBella
I'm going to be very direct with you, because I think you need to hear it. Your new life with your boyfriend is a result of the two of you having an extramarital affair. You say you've both been serial cheaters in the past, so honestly, it is not surprising that one or both of you would continue that kind of behavior. Think of it this way: If you meet someone in a bar, you likely have met someone who drinks, yes? When you are with someone from an extramarital affair, you are with someone who is okay with extramarital affairs.
It sounds like your life is starting to implode. I suggest you begin some kind of therapy or counseling. You clearly have issues to work out as you stated, and it sounds like you have left a relationship you didn't like for one that is probably not going to work if you expect monogamy. Ideally, this would be a good time for you to live by yourself and be self-reliant until you can straighten your head out. I don't know if you are financially able to do that, but even if you aren't you can find low cost counseling and you really could use it.
You don't mention your children at all. Do you have a relationship with them? Maybe if you can focus on them or your relationship with them it will take some of the pressure off of constantly thinking about the mess your new relationship has become. Focus on something positive, whatever it is, get some help, and avoid any new romantic entanglements until you can get your head straight.
I know this is a very hard road, and it is really demoralizing when you thought you were about to start a new happy life and it isn't working out. But you can control how you react to this situation. Hold your head up, get some help, and refuse to let this man or any other take advantage of you. Good luck to you.
September 13, 2010 - 7:05amThis Comment
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