I absolutely think you have done the right thing as well. It would be great if you continued going to Counseling, so you can continue growing as a person-- growing up with emotional abuse, then marrying a person who was also abusive-- demonstrates the devastating cycle of living with abuse. You can stop this cycle, and it sounds like you have. Unfortunately, the only way to stop this cycle-- for now-- is to disallow people in your life who are abusive.
You are not keeping your son away from his grandmother; she has made the choice to prefer being abusive over seeing her grandson. She is keeping herself away from him; you are not keeping him away in the context you suggest. Your number one priority is to have your son grow up in a happy, healthy and nurturing environment, and you are showing him what types of people can provide that. Others who are incapable or choose not to live up to those basic standards are not able to see past their own selves to even have a relationship with your son.
His grandmother has made a choice to continue being abusive, and there is no room for abuse in anyone's life. Whether she is a bully, has a mental disorder or something else, she can choose to seek help and then years down the road she may possibly learn healthy ways to interact with people enough to have limited and supervised visits with your son. Your decision now does not have to be a "forever" decision; it is a decision based on experience, information and good intentions.
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I absolutely think you have done the right thing as well. It would be great if you continued going to Counseling, so you can continue growing as a person-- growing up with emotional abuse, then marrying a person who was also abusive-- demonstrates the devastating cycle of living with abuse. You can stop this cycle, and it sounds like you have. Unfortunately, the only way to stop this cycle-- for now-- is to disallow people in your life who are abusive.
You are not keeping your son away from his grandmother; she has made the choice to prefer being abusive over seeing her grandson. She is keeping herself away from him; you are not keeping him away in the context you suggest. Your number one priority is to have your son grow up in a happy, healthy and nurturing environment, and you are showing him what types of people can provide that. Others who are incapable or choose not to live up to those basic standards are not able to see past their own selves to even have a relationship with your son.
His grandmother has made a choice to continue being abusive, and there is no room for abuse in anyone's life. Whether she is a bully, has a mental disorder or something else, she can choose to seek help and then years down the road she may possibly learn healthy ways to interact with people enough to have limited and supervised visits with your son. Your decision now does not have to be a "forever" decision; it is a decision based on experience, information and good intentions.
December 2, 2010 - 9:40amThis Comment
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