Christine,
Your words are very encouraging. I definitely agree that these situations make us stronger and learn what is really important. Even as I look back on my past relationships, I have become closer to finding someone that is a lifetime partner. I guess what worries me is that it took me almost two years to realize that my ex wasn't going to be there by my side. I do believe that it is through relationship failures that we learn what makes a lifetime relationship work. Being that my ex has only had one relationship prior to ours, that lasted less than a year, maybe he hasn't experienced enough failures to understand a real relationship. Thank you for sharing about your divorce. You must have learned so much from that experience. It is inspiring to hear that you were at the same age as me when this situation occurred and that you are now in a marriage that you are proud of and have two little ones! Did you ever think that you would be where you are today when you were 30? I consider your advice highly, you have more experience than me in serious relationships and I know you are wiser today from this. I'm trying to convince myself that I shouldn't be hanging on to his words in a facebook message as "I loved spending last year with you" and "I miss you." Because the reality is that he may miss me, but he is choosing everyday not to be with me, he is still the same person who broke up with me. I am trying to do things differently this time and really cut contact off and let him know what it is really like to live without me. You're so right, if he wanted to be with me, he would, it's that simple. Thank you for making everything much more clear. My therapist said that by him telling me that he doesn't see us together long term, then the answer is clear. She said that he may contact me, but that I don't have to respond and if I want to, it could be a response as, "reminder-you broke up with me." She also said that everytime I have any contact with him that it is like opening a wound all over again, that I need to just let my wounds heal. I find my sessions extremely helpful, not sure where I would be without them. I am emotionally a wreck when it comes to break-ups, I can't eat, I can't sleep, I let it affect my schooling and work. He broke up with me one week before my finals, the night he was suppposed to meet my parents, one week after my 30th birthday, worst timing ever. You have been a great big sister through this Christine, thank you!!!
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Christine,
January 5, 2011 - 4:12amYour words are very encouraging. I definitely agree that these situations make us stronger and learn what is really important. Even as I look back on my past relationships, I have become closer to finding someone that is a lifetime partner. I guess what worries me is that it took me almost two years to realize that my ex wasn't going to be there by my side. I do believe that it is through relationship failures that we learn what makes a lifetime relationship work. Being that my ex has only had one relationship prior to ours, that lasted less than a year, maybe he hasn't experienced enough failures to understand a real relationship. Thank you for sharing about your divorce. You must have learned so much from that experience. It is inspiring to hear that you were at the same age as me when this situation occurred and that you are now in a marriage that you are proud of and have two little ones! Did you ever think that you would be where you are today when you were 30? I consider your advice highly, you have more experience than me in serious relationships and I know you are wiser today from this. I'm trying to convince myself that I shouldn't be hanging on to his words in a facebook message as "I loved spending last year with you" and "I miss you." Because the reality is that he may miss me, but he is choosing everyday not to be with me, he is still the same person who broke up with me. I am trying to do things differently this time and really cut contact off and let him know what it is really like to live without me. You're so right, if he wanted to be with me, he would, it's that simple. Thank you for making everything much more clear. My therapist said that by him telling me that he doesn't see us together long term, then the answer is clear. She said that he may contact me, but that I don't have to respond and if I want to, it could be a response as, "reminder-you broke up with me." She also said that everytime I have any contact with him that it is like opening a wound all over again, that I need to just let my wounds heal. I find my sessions extremely helpful, not sure where I would be without them. I am emotionally a wreck when it comes to break-ups, I can't eat, I can't sleep, I let it affect my schooling and work. He broke up with me one week before my finals, the night he was suppposed to meet my parents, one week after my 30th birthday, worst timing ever. You have been a great big sister through this Christine, thank you!!!
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